Learning to Love Again
by ilovetvalot
Summary: In the wake of tragedy, new loves emerge. Join our favorite team as they navigate the rocky, often treacherous road to True Love. This is a re-written, rejuvenated story.
1. Chapter 1

**_Author's Note: Okay, first, thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, favoriting and alerting our stories. We truly appreciate your comments._**

**_First, we want to offer you a quick rundown of activities and threads that are ongoing at the forum:_**

**_We've also introduced a "Help Wanted" thread to the forum for authors that are looking for assistance with various writing complications that come up. Perhaps you want someone to bounce ideas with, or maybe you need a beta….this is the place to post an ad for what you are looking for. We've also reopened the "Chat Chat Among the Authors" thread to discuss spoilers or ask questions. The "Getting to Know YOU…Tell us about yourself" thread is open. Swing by there to introduce yourself whether you are a reader or an author. We'd love to meet you._**

**_And lastly don't forget our "Pay It forward Review Incentive Program". From now until the end of MAY, anyone that reviews a ROMANCE related story is eligible to win an gift card. Details found on thread at forum._**

**_This week's author of the week is the talented pandorabox82. Please swing by that thread to ask questions about their writing and/or stories. In addition, there are several other threads open for comment. We hope to see each of you there._**

**_Oh! And skip on over to the forum and sign up for our "Challenge Within A Challenge" fic writing exercise! We'd love to have each of you to participate!_**

* * *

**_Hey, guys! For those that read my work, this is a rejuvenated, rewritten Learning to Love. There will be new twists and turns ahead, so, enjoy the ride and let us know what you think!_**

* * *

**Learning To Love Again**

**Chapter One**

She knew he was gone.

She had heard the shot and watched his lifeless body fall heavily on the pavement, the image seared into her mind for all time.

Lying between the cool sheets of the bed in this hideous lime green room, rhythmically rubbing the small bulge of her child beneath the hospital gown, she was certain that he hadn't survived. The bullet had found a sure mark. The memory of his unseeing gaze staring up at her would haunt her the rest of her days.

The all-encompassing guilt would have been crippling if not for her worries regarding her unborn child. The little peanut within her was the one solid thing she had left to hold on to now. She clung to that shred of hope with everything she had within her.

It was all her fault. If only she hadn't agreed to try and work things out with him one last time at that little bistro. She had already known the relationship had been over for three weeks when she had found out about the other woman in New Orleans. He had expected anger and tears from her, but the only emotion she had the energy left to muster had been relief. She'd known, deep down, that getting engaged so quickly had been a mistake from the beginning. She'd initially accepted his proposal because of her fear of raising a child alone.

Will LaMontagne had done the "right" thing and asked her to marry him, and she had felt the responsibility to accept. She should have done everything so differently. He hadn't loved her, at least not in the way a man should love the woman he's about to marry. And, while fond of him, she couldn't say that she had truly loved him either. She respected him though. He had believed in trying to do the right thing, the honorable thing. He'd been so adamant that they try to make things work for the sake of the baby she carried even when his own heart had longed for someone else, someone more like him.

But even knowing that, her mind was already made up and she had agreed to one last dinner to rehash their relationship. If only she'd not accepted his last invitation, her child would still have a father.

But, she had accepted that invitation, and everything that had transpired afterword could be directly linked to her. She accepted the blame, and the shame associated with her decision.

Tears fell silently down her cheeks as she remembered their last verbal exchange as they had walked away from the restaurant.

"JJ, chere, give this another chance to work, darlin'. I screwed up but, I deserve the opportunity to be a good father to this child, don't I?" he'd asked, vehement in his pursuit to cement a family between them.

"Will, being a good father AND husband are not a mutually exclusive thing. You don't need to be one, to be the other. You're not a bad person. But, we have been together, what? Three months? And you've already cheated. I can't live in a marriage like that. It would be impossible! Looking the other way, trying to pretend that I don't know that I'm living a lie? I won't belittle us both by putting either of us in that kind of predicament. We've tried and we've failed. That doesn't mean that we can't both be a part of this baby's life," she'd reasoned calmly, her eyes compassionate on his lean face. The blame hadn't rested entirely on him. They weren't right for one another.

During their heartfelt exchange neither of them had noticed the group of four thugs that had slowly approached them from behind and surrounded them. It wasn't until she had felt the press of cold steel against her neck that she realized that they were effectively trapped and being roughly pushed into the alleyway between two restaurants.

"Move and I cut her!" one of the bald, tattooed thugs had rasped against Will's ear.

"Don't hurt her! Take what you want and go! My wallet's in my back pocket," Will had urged, his eyes finding JJ's in the darkness, silently willing her to remain calm.

"What do you have that I'd want? Money?" a deep voice had mocked coldly. Glancing her way, the man holding Will took a long look at JJ. "Well, maybe you might have something I want, baby," he'd sneered at JJ, his smile calculating as his eyes ran up and down her body. "I definitely have something I could give you," he said reaching an arm out to roughly palm her right breast. The laughter of the rest of the leader's gang echoed in JJ's ears.

"Let her go, man! Just take what you want and go. No one needs to be hurt here," Will had implored the man behind him

"Shut the hell up! I make the rules to this game up and, we'll play them my way, asshole. Now, right now, I want to get to know this nice hot little piece of ass you've got with you a little bit better!" he'd murmured against Will's ear.

J.J's skin had begun to crawl as her arms were pinned behind her by one of the other men. Looking over her assailant's shoulder she saw Will beginning to struggle against his own attackers in earnest, his moves desperate. Gasping as her body was slammed against the wall of the building behind her, one of the men had pinned her arms above her head, holding her wrists in a steely grip. Distantly, she'd heard Will's hoarse shouts for help as her mind disengaged from her body. It had been a coping mechanism, she recognized in retrospect.

Struggling against the cruel hands that had restrained her, she could recall hearing the loud blast of the single shot that had ended Will's life. She'd watched as his body had slid down the wall beside him, the gaping wound in the back of his head indicating that at least his death had been quick. Closing her eyes, she could still hear her own pleas as those horrible men had pawed and squeezed at her body.

Her words echoed as a litany in her mind. "Please don't do this. Don't do this to me!" she had pleaded over and over again as the men had pressed closer, their rank breath heavy in her face while tears had leaked down her cheeks. The last memory she had was one of the thugs twisting her long blonde hair around his fist and mercilessly, or mercifully, depending on how you viewed it, cracking her skull against the brick wall.

Then, nothing. Blackness had enveloped her.

From a professional point of view, she understood that there was probably more she could remember. Her analytical mind knew she'd picked up other facts.

Every so often, another memory would resurface, a snippet reappearing in her mind's eye to taunt her. Nothing that could be considered useful. The smell of cigarettes…the image of a tattoo. Odd things, but nothing to help identify the man that had murdered Will in cold blood.

Uniformed officers had come and gone from her room already, leaving her with the standard advice to call the precinct if she remembered anything they could use.

She mentally recoiled at the notion of recalling any more of those terrible moments. Surviving them once had been a daunting enough challenge. She'd be foolish to think, however, that more wasn't coming. Her profession had taught her the mind was a powerful tool in exposing the truth.

Watching one of the white coated doctors out of the corner of her eye as he shot a syringe of medication into her IV, she swallowed when she felt the slow roll of heat moving up her arm, promising oblivion. And as her eyes drifted closed, she realized that she was now truly alone with an infant on the way. How the hell was she going to prepare for what was coming?

**$$$$000$$$$**

Meanwhile, two tall imposing FBI agents leaned against the cool wall outside her door in the hospital's busy corridor, each quietly waiting for an update on their colleague. All they needed was some word that her condition had improved since they'd arrived, each too terrified to contemplate a less fortunate outcome.

"Do we have any suspects yet?" Rossi growled angrily as the muscle in his jaw ticked furiously, a nonverbal testament to his level of anger.

Shaking his dark head, Aaron Hotchner sighed as he offered the other profiler a wary glance. Right now, David Rossi was about as unpredictable as the weather. "Not yet," he offered slowly, "I sent Reid and Prentiss to the scene. DC homicide is agreeing to cooperate right now. One of them will contact us with an update as soon as they have something to report. I spoke to the Chief to ensure we wouldn't run into any impediments. He was more than happy to have the help. With violence spiking across the city, he can't afford not to cooperate. The economy, the escalation in gang violence…it's all coming to a head. The mayor wants solutions. If this is the same group that's been terrorizing women in the downtown area, he's depending on us to help stop it. Right now, it appears to him that JJ and Will were caught in the crossfire."

Stealing another serendipitous look at Dave, what Aaron saw gave him pause. He'd known that the gruff man had a vulnerable spot for the soft spoken media liaison that each of them had relied on in the past. Each member of the team had a special place for JJ in their heart. Jennifer Jareau made it easy to like and respect her. Dedicated, she paid meticulous attention to every detail of her job. Striving for perfection, she chose each of their cases with care and diligence, pursuing the criminals with the team with a single minded determination that he, like the rest of their team, admired.

Dave's feelings, however, went far beyond admiration. He felt something far deeper for the younger woman that the normal friendships the rest of the team shared with her. Aaron understood that when a group of people spent as much time together as they did, strong attachments would form with varying degrees of depth. Hell, if he were blunt and entirely honest about it, he could conclude that they'd formed a makeshift family. In their profession, so-called normal relationships were difficult to maintain.

His own failed marriage stood as a silent testament to that sad fact.

The truth was that he missed Haley and Jack every single day. In the last several months since they'd both scrawled their name across the divorce papers, his feeling hadn't changed. He still loved his wife as deeply as he had on the day he married her. There was no decree imaginable that could change that.

And as he stood here waiting for word of JJ's condition, he began to wonder if the sacrifices that this job required were worth it after all.

Was it only a few short hours ago that Dave had been standing in his office, chatting about a football game? It felt like a lifetime ago. Both men had been almost paralyzed in those moments following the phone call from the local authorities regarding JJ. Receiving news that your co-worker and friend had been assaulted and her fiancée had been murdered in downtown DC had been the very last thing either of them had ever expected to hear. Dave's face hadn't changed since the moment they'd gotten here. All there queries had been brushed aside as doctors and nurses had come and gone from her hospital room, and the wait was beginning to slowly erode Rossi's control.

"What the hell is taking so long in there, Aaron? The damn doctor has been in there for over an hour. How freaking hard is it to stick your head out the door and give an update?" Dave grumbled impatiently, looking down at his watch again for the fourth time in fifteen minutes.

"He's doing his job, Dave. Between her pregnancy and her head wound, he's probably trying to cover all his bases. You've got to calm down. With the trauma she's already suffered tonight, you just can't storm the room," Hotch replied evenly.

"I just want to see her with my own eyes," Dave muttered. "I just need him to tell me she's going to be okay."

"I think we can both agree it's going to be a very long time before JJ is even in the general vicinity of 'okay'. In the past year she's already had to bury her parents. Now…losing Will so violently." Aaron grimaced. "I know she and Will had been having problems, but regardless, it was clear she cared about him. Everything is going to take a heavy toll on her," he stated softly.

"Jennifer is strong. It'll be hard, but she'll get through it," Dave returned harshly, unable to think of a less favorable outcome. They had to get her past this; failure simply wasn't an alternative.

Looking into Rossi's roughly hewn face, his features were almost carved in stone. Cold determination glinted from dark expressive eyes. He wondered if the other man even recognized how deeply his feelings ran for the tiny woman on the other side of the door. Glancing over his shoulder as the knob turned behind him, Aaron turned on his heel as it creaked open. Each of them took a step toward the harried looking man emerging from JJ's room.

Closing his patient's door, the man looked from one expectant face to the other. Extending his hand to the younger of the two, he murmured a greeting. "Evening, gentlemen. I'm Doctor Williams. I assume you're both here on behalf of Jennifer Jareau?"

"I'm Special Agent Aaron Hotchner." Hotch nodded, introducing himself as he shook the doctor's hand quickly. "This is Special Agent David Rossi. We're with the FBI and we work closely with Agent Jareau. How is she?" Aaron asked anxiously.

Looking uncomfortably between the two worried men, Doctor Williams sighed. "What I can tell you is very limited without another family member present. I'm sure you both understand. Privacy laws being what they are…"

"We _are_ her family," Dave snapped sharply, cutting the elder man off abruptly as his temper ramped up another notch.

Holding a hand in front of Dave, Hotch interjected smoothly, "What Agent Rossi means to say is that Agent Jareau's parents were both killed earlier this year in an automobile accident. She was an only child. Her fiancée was killed this evening during her assault. I believe she might have mentioned two or three distant cousins still living in Pennsylvania, but they don't sustain a close relationship. Agent Rossi, myself and the other members that comprise her team are all the "family" she has left. I'm sure she'll be able to verify that for you if necessary," Aaron explained calmly.

"I see," Doctor Williams murmured, his face relaxing somewhat. "That puts a different spin on things," he agreed. "In light of the current circumstances, I suppose it would be permissible to talk to you regarding her current condition.

"Gee, do you think?" Dave sneered, his temper held by a rapidly fraying thread of control.

"Rossi," Hotch warned, shooting the other man a quelling glare.

Exhaling heavily, Dave ran a hand down his face as he forced his tense shoulders to relax. "Look, Doc, I'm sorry," he apologized. "I'm concerned, that's all. We've been on edge since we received the word that she'd been injured. Can you just tell us how she is?" Dave asked, ready to beg if that meant this guy would open his mouth and start giving him the answers he desperately needed to hear.

No novice, Doctor Williams was accustomed to dealing with emotional family members that were clearly worried about their loved ones. These two men were no different. "All things considered, Agent Jareau is doing fairly well. She sustained a moderate midgrade concussion. There are cuts, abrasions and bruises from her struggle with her attackers. Each of her injuries should heal in due course."

"Rape kit?" Dave asked raggedly, his heart pounding in his sternum as he watched the doctor's face tighten.

"There were no signs of semen or vaginal trauma," the doctor stated quietly. "She was mauled. There were handprints left on her thighs…her ribs. My guess is her attacker simply ran out of time before he could harm her further," he theorized softly.

"The baby?" Dave asked hoarsely, his gut clenching at the description of JJ's condition.

"The fetus' heartbeat was steady in the one sixties. Agent Jareau had no complaints of cramping or discomfort. There have been no signs of imminent miscarriage."

"Well, that's good," Dave said hopefully, searching the Doctor's impassive face. "Isn't it?"

"Agent Jareau is only about sixteen weeks into her pregnancy. Right now, it's hard to tell. She's endured quite a traumatic blow, figuratively _and_ literally. I've suggested to her that she be extremely cautious over the course of the next several weeks," Doctor Williams informed the elder of the two agents grimly. "I can only imagine the toll losing her fiancé will have on her. Emotionally, I think she's still experiencing what we refer to as a 'disconnect' from reality. Events haven't become quite real for her yet. Laymen would call this stage shock. I've given her a sedative that will relax her and help with the pain. Nothing too strong in lieu of her condition. Right now, she's groggy and in and out of consciousness. In a few hours, she will be more lucid. We'll know a lot more then."

"Has anyone informed her of Will's…her fiancé's…death?" Dave asked gravely.

"The staff has not told her anything," Doctor Williams informed him gently. "I wanted to find out if a family member would rather be the person to break the news to her."

"Good call," Dave agreed with a jerky nod. "We'll take care of delivering that news."

"I figured as much," the doctor murmured.

"Can we see her?" Dave asked, gesturing at the door to JJ's room.

It broke hospital policy, but Doctor Williams was a compassionate man. "I'll leave word at the nurses' station to allow one of you back at the time. _Only_ one," he stressed. "She needs to remain as quiet as possible over the next several hours. That woman has endured more this evening than anyone should be forced to deal with in a lifetime. We don't want her overwhelmed with a lot of visitors or over stimulated by too many questions."

"We both understand," Dave agreed, seeing Hotch's own curt nod out of the corner of his eye.

"If either of you need anything else or I can answer any more questions for you, alert one of the nurses and they'll page me. I'm on rotation for the next twelve hours," Doctor Williams invited before hurrying toward one of the nurse's standing next to the desk.

"Thank you," both men said gratefully as the doctor moved away.

"You go on in, Dave," Hotch said with a nod toward the closed door. It was clear that the elder man needed to see JJ for himself much more badly than he did. "I'll go call the team and update them on JJ's condition. I'm fairly certain Garcia was going to implode the last time I talked to her if I didn't obtain some answers soon." Glancing at his wrist watch, he added, "Then, if you'll be okay on your own for a few minutes, I thought I'd run by Haley's house and spend a few minutes with Jack before school. You'll call if anything changes?"

"I will." Dave nodded. "Thanks, Aaron," he said gratefully before turning and reaching for the door's handle.

_**$$$$000$$$$**_

David Rossi entered the dimly lit room and quietly closed the door behind him. Squinting in the darkness, it took a few heartbeats for his eyes to adjust to the shadowy darkness.

He found the huddled mass in the bed easily. Asleep on her side with one arm curved protectively around her belly, Jennifer Jareau snuffled in her sleep, her breath hitching in her throat before she released it a second later. Moving forward on silent feet, his mouth went dry.

Feeling a surge of rage as he got a look at her beaten face, one cheek swollen and purple under the dim light shining over her, he inhaled deeply. Her forehead was covering in a white bandage. Underneath, he knew a deep gash marred the tender skin where her head had been cracked repeatedly against the brick wall of the building and the pavement where she'd fallen. Handprints marred her arms and neck where she'd been mauled with unforgiving hands. God only knew what damage her hospital gown hid from him. And for once, he gave thanks that he couldn't actually see the damage. Enough rage already roiled within him to level a small town without seeing how the rest of her body had been abused.

Lowering his own exhausted body into the padded chair beside her bed, he studied her face for any sign of discomfort. Occasionally, she'd flinch in her sleep and offer a soft cry or moan and each frightened sound she made brought tears to his eyes.

Not a man that showed any emotion besides anger easily, her plight made his throat tighten painfully. He'd seen far too much in his long years to allow himself to be easily affected, but watching this young woman fight off demons in her sleep made his eyes water. Gripping the bedrail in an effort to keep from touching her, he silently promised himself that he'd find a way to help her feel safe again. Subsiding back into his chair as she seemed to still in the bed, he allowed his eyes to drift closed as he held vigil.

JJ began to awaken an hour later. Slowly, the sounds of the word around her intruded and pulled her back toward reality. Opening her eyes, the lime green ceiling with chipped paint came into slow focus. Where was she? Disoriented, she groaned as she attempted to raise her head from the pillows, the pounding in her temples amplifying at the small movement. Waves of pain radiated through her entire body, threatening to crush her under the force of their weight. Gasping, she dropped her head back to the pillow underneath her head.

Hearing the jagged sound torn from JJ's throat, Rossi surged quickly to his feet, peering down at the patient in the bed. "Hey, you," he greeted the dazed looking woman in front of him. "Welcome back. Don't try to move too much just now, JJ," he soothed softly.

Seeing those familiar dark eyes leveled on her in concern, memories flooded JJ's mind, terrible horrifying visions of what had occurred just hours prior. "Oh, God," JJ rasped, her heart thumping heavily in her chest with the force of a drum. "It wasn't a dream, was it?" she whimpered, looking frantically around for any sign of the man that had fathered her child. "Will? He's dead, isn't he?"

"JJ," Dave murmured, resting a hand against her shoulder when she would have bolted upright.

"They killed him!" JJ whimpered. "They killed him in front of me and I watched them do it. I watched them and I couldn't stop it!" she shrieked hysterically, panic filling her as the images replayed in her mind.

"JJ, sweetheart, you have to calm down," Dave said above her panicked cries. "You've got to think about the baby now. Focus on your child and take some deep breaths," Rossi murmured calmly.

"The baby," JJ gasped, one of her hands automatically dropping to her stomach. Clutching Dave's shirt with her other hand, she lifted startled eyes to his. "Is my baby okay?" she asked desperately.

"The doctor says that your baby is fine right now, JJ. Just fine," he said, smoothly reaching across her body to press the call button on the side of her bed. "Take some more deep breaths, Jen. Just concentrate on breathing right now," he soothed as her nails dug into his arm.

"May I help you?" a distant voice inquired through the intercom built into the hospital bed.

"Yes," Dave said, raising his voice just a bit. "Ms. Jareau is conscious. Please notify her physician," he ordered.

"Yes, sir," the disconnected voice averred quickly. "Someone will be with you shortly."

Glancing back down at JJ as a sob shuddered through her frail body, Dave's jaw clenched. Smoothing a hand over her arm reassuringly, he murmured, "Shhhhh, JJ. You're going to make yourself sicker. It's going to be okay, I promise you that. You're going to be fine. We're going to make sure of that, too. Nothing's going to hurt you again, all right?" he whispered as she clung to his hand, her grip desperate.

"Don't leave," JJ panted, hot tears rolling down her face as she struggled to cope with the reality of her situation. "Please don't let go," she begged as his other arm came around her and tried to ease her back against the pillows.

"I'm not going anywhere," Dave soothed gently. "You're safe, JJ," he whispered, rubbing his hand against her cold arm.

"No," JJ shook her head, her eyes wide with fear. "They know what I look like now. They know I can identify them. They took my purse. Those men will know where I live…where I work. What if they find me? What about my baby? How can I protect my baby?" she babbled, her mind spinning out of control.

Leaning over her, he met JJ's terrified eyes. "Listen to me," he ordered calmly. "I and the rest of this team are not going to allow any harm to come to either of you. No one is going to get close enough to hurt you until these assholes are in custody. You and your child are going to be safe."

"Nononononono." JJ shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut as she buried her head against Dave's chest.

Frowning down, Dave stared at the top of JJ's head as he smoothed a hand against the fragile curve of her back. "Okay," he murmured. "Just relax, Jen. One step at a time," he continued, unsure whether he was trying to calm her or himself at this point.

Feeling her stiffen against him as a brief knock fell against her door, he glanced up to see her doctor and an elderly kind faced nurse enter the room. Meeting the doc's eyes, he shook his head slightly before glancing at the woman he held against him. "She's terrified," he mouthed to the other man.

Nodding slightly, Doctor Williams approached the side of his patient's bed slowly. "Agent Jareau?" he said gently. "I'm Doctor Williams. Do you remember me from earlier?"

Eyeing the man from against Dave's chest, JJ swallowed. "I think so," she mumbled.

"Good." He nodded approvingly. "I need to reexamine you, Agent Jareau, and make sure everything is still moving along in the right direction. It won't take very long. Agent Rossi," he said, meeting the older man's worried gaze, "If you'll just step out into the corridor for a few moments…"

"No!" JJ shook her head, her grip on Dave's shirt tightening as she felt panic well in her throat. "Why can't he stay with me? I want him to stay with me!"

Moving closer to JJ, the old nurse reached for one of JJ's hands. "Honey, I'm going to stay with you, all right? Maybe this young man here," she said, nodding toward Dave, "would like to just step out for a few minutes and stretch his legs….perhaps get a cup of really bad coffee? I bet he needs to call some of that team you told me about earlier, too. You can tell me some more about them." She patted JJ's hand, covering it with her own wrinkled limb.

"O-okay," JJ whispered, instinctively trusting the older woman. "I g-guess that would be okay," she murmured, nervously looking up at Dave's face, her eyes seeking his advice.

"I'm not going to be far and I'll be back as soon as they finish their examination," Dave assured her gently. "You're going to be fine," he whispered, dropping a quick kiss to her temple before forcing himself to take a step backward. "I'll be waiting right outside," he informed her doctor before smiling reassuringly at JJ and stepping out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: Okay, first, thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, favoriting and alerting our stories. We truly appreciate your comments._

_First, we want to offer you a quick rundown of activities and threads that are ongoing at the forum:_

_We've also introduced a "Help Wanted" thread to the forum for authors that are looking for assistance with various writing complications that come up. Perhaps you want someone to bounce ideas with, or maybe you need a beta….this is the place to post an ad for what you are looking for. We've also reopened the "Chat Chat Among the Authors" thread to discuss spoilers or ask questions. The "Getting to Know YOU…Tell us about yourself" thread is open. Swing by there to introduce yourself whether you are a reader or an author. We'd love to meet you._

_And lastly don't forget our "Pay It forward Review Incentive Program". From now until the end of MAY, anyone that reviews a ROMANCE related story is eligible to win an gift card. Details found on thread at forum._

_This week's author of the week is the talented pandorabox82. Please swing by that thread to ask questions about their writing and/or stories. In addition, there are several other threads open for comment. We hope to see each of you there._

_Oh! And skip on over to the forum and sign up for our "Challenge Within A Challenge" fic writing exercise! We'd love to have each of you to participate!_

* * *

**Learning to Love Again**

**Chapter Two**

Inhaling deeply as he stepped out into the hospital hallway, Dave leaned against the tiled wall and struggled to get a handle on his spiraling feelings. Anger, worry, fear…each one mixing with the other to form a dangerous brew of explosive fury.

He needed to get a handle on his temper before it consumed him. Spotting a passing orderly, Dave called, "Excuse me? Is there a coffee machine somewhere around here?"

"Yeah," the lean Hispanic man replied as he nodded, "Follow this hall around to the right and the waiting room is the third door on the left. They've got a couple of vending machines set up in there."

"Thanks." Dave nodded, turning and walking in the direction the younger man had indicated.

Finding the room easily, he was gratified to find it empty, only a litter of old magazines and empty coffee cups for company. Quickly sliding his dollar bill into the machine, he selected the appropriate button as the machine churned to life. Sighing as he finally bent to pick up the paper cup, he turned and headed toward the battered office quality sofa situated in the far corner of the room. Running a hand over his tired face, he searched his pockets for his phone. The team was worried and waiting for an update. Deciding a call to Aaron would be simplest, he thumbed through the contact and located the other man's number easily.

"Hotchner," the other man greeted on the first ring.

"Hey, Aaron. It's Dave," Rossi replied quietly, rolling his head on his shoulders as he spoke, the tense muscles protesting the movement.

"Dave!"Aaron's voice spoke, instantly becoming more alert. "Any word? How is she?"

"JJ woke up about twenty minutes ago," Dave muttered, massaging his throbbing temples.

"How was she?" Aaron asked hesitantly.

"About how you'd expect. Panicked…traumatized. The doctor threw me out so he could have another look at her," Dave explained. "She's terrified, Hotch. Spooked by her own shadow…worried that these guys are going to find her. Please tell me that there's a lead," he urged, gripping his phone tightly as he remembered the look of unadulterated fear in JJ's eyes when she'd woken up.

"Unfortunately, there hasn't been anything useful so far. Morgan, Reid and Prentiss have been at the scene and at the precinct questioning people that heard JJ's screams on the street. They've canvassed the entire area, Dave. So far, nobody has admitted to seeing anything that could help us. A couple mentioned that they heard a female screaming and some men laughing, but not one of them actually saw a suspect. Garcia's been tearing apart the city's surveillance footage from the street, hoping to catch a glimpse of them as they left, but so far all she's seen are a couple of homeless men emerge from the alley. Both the vagrants were so drunk, neither could even tell Morgan their name."

"Damn it," Dave cursed.

"Have you told her about Will yet?" Aaron asked softly.

"She already knew, Hotch. She remembers it happening. It's tearing her to shreds. She's blaming herself and the guilt is part of what's eating her alive. How the hell are we going to convince her that she's blameless? She takes the weight of the world on her shoulders on a regular basis, but this time it could physically hurt her," Dave worried, his voice sad.

"We've seen survivor's guilt before, Dave," Aaron reminded the other profiler calmly. "In time, it will pass. I'll pass along word of her condition to the rest of the team and warn them that they should wait until later to visit. I gave orders for Morgan, Reid and Prentiss to go home and grab some sleep."

"And they actually listened?" Dave grunted, knowing full well how resistant their team could be when one of their own was in danger.

"I had to make it a direct order," Aaron admitted gravely.

"Listen, Aaron," Dave said, his tone guarded as he licked his dry lips. "I don't know if it's such a good idea for the entire troop to descend en masse here. She's already overwhelmed. I don't want to compound that by having her feel as though she's being crowded, too."

"I understand," Aaron replied, privately agreeing. Tensions ran high at the moment and each member of their unit was feeling the push to find answers. JJ would be able to feel that unspoken urgency. "And I agree. I'm not going to be able to stop Penelope. though. I already promised her that I'd bring her with me to the hospital when I came back. She's been nearly inconsolable since I called her last night, Dave. You know how close she and JJ are. The only way I've kept her focused on surveillance was the fact that they weren't allowing JJ to receive any visitors."

"Seeing Garcia might actually help her relax a little. Those two have been through thick and thin together," Dave replied. "Give it an hour or so, though. That will give her a little time to get resettled after this examination. I'll see you when you get back," Dave murmured before cutting off the phone call.

Collapsing back against the uncomfortable sofa, Dave closed his eyes as his mind wandered back in time to a conversation he'd shared with JJ just a few scant weeks ago.

_**/**/**_

They'd been on their way home, aboard the jet after a particularly rough case involving three murdered little girls. The unsub had crawled beneath their collective skin, so to speak. Vicious and cruel, he'd almost been too smart to catch, but somehow, they'd managed it. It had taken a heavy toll on each of them and most of the others had been trying to simply blot out the horror by getting some much needed rest.

But not JJ.

He'd watched her from his seat at the back of the plain, her blonde head bent over an open magazine in her lap. He'd known she wasn't really reading; the pages had remained unturned after thirty minutes of her intent staring.

He'd waited a full forty-five minutes before he'd finally risen from his seat and approached her.

"Hey," he'd said softly when he stood just behind her seat. "If you stare at that page any harder, it's gonna burst into flame."

Looking over her shoulder, JJ smiled wearily. "I guess I've just got a lot on my mind right now. I thought I could escape into a good Cosmo," she laughed self consciously as she closed the glossy magazine, "but I couldn't seem to manage it."

"I know I'm a man of few words, but I've got a pretty good set of ears if you feel like talking about it," he'd offered gently.

"I'm not sure I'd even know where to start." She had shaken her head, staring sadly out the window, the whisper of unhappiness as clear as if she'd been shouting.

He'd taken a step forward and slid into the passenger seat beside her. "The beginning is usually what I find works for me."

"Will is cheating on me," she'd confided bluntly, unable to meet the eyes of the man beside her.

Surprised, he'd paused. For once, his author's brain had been at a loss for words. "Christ, JJ," he'd muttered under his breath. "I'm sorry. Are you sure?" he'd asked, frowning when her chin dropped against her chest.

"It's hard to mistake the evidence when you catch him red handed," she'd snorted bitterly. "He says that it only happened the one time, but who knows? The saddest part is that I wasn't even shocked or angry. I think part of me expected it. Neither of us have been happy in a while. I was….I don't know, relieved?" She'd bitten her lip then, worrying the tender tissue of her lower lip between her teeth.

"The engagement was a mistake. He asked me to marry him because we found out I was pregnant, and I knew in my heart that alone was a lousy reason to say yes. Before we left on this case, I told him that we needed to sit down and reevaluate the decisions we'd been making."

"Sounds pretty level headed to me," Dave had agreed, watching her averted face.

"He thinks I don't believe in marriage," she'd whispered. "But, I do. The sound of a nice home with a dog and kids playing in the yard…of course it appeals to me. My parents had that kind of life. I was raised with those values. I know it can exist. But I can't have that with a man I can't trust. You can't make yourself feel something that you don't, can you?" she'd asked, finally lifting her gaze to meet his eyes.

"Only you know what you can and can't live with, JJ," Dave had replied quietly, mindful of the people surrounding them. "I don't believe you should settle for less than you deserve. I think you deserve to be with someone you can trust. I respect Will's desire to do what he believes is the right thing, but you can't do the right thing if only one of you is committed to the relationship. In my experience, once one of you cheats…that person already has one foot out the proverbial door. Eventually, they won't be able resist taking that step out. With my past failures, I know wherefore I speak, babe," he'd said with a crooked self-deprecating grin.

"Were you the cheated or the cheater?" JJ asked softly.

"I got married to my first wife, Carol, right out of college. She and I just grew in different directions. It really wasn't anyone's fault. But with my second wife, Elizabeth," he had muttered as he'd shuddered, "I was working a lot of hours while I wrote my second novel. She felt ignored and got bored, you know?" he said, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. "She started taking tennis lessons from some pro at the Country Club. Tawdry, I know," he sighed when JJ curled her nose. "I found out about the affair from a friend of a friend. We divorced and they married three months later. Last I heard through the social grapevine, she and her husband had their second child," he'd informed her, his tone matter of fact.

"Disgusting," JJ had murmured. "I'm beginning to wonder if the wronged parties ever get a happy ending."

"Of course they do." Dave had smiled. "Sometimes it just takes us longer to find the right person and it involves a whole lot more work." He'd patted her hand consolingly. "Get some rest, babe," he'd whispered. "Everything won't feel quite so hopeless after a little sleep."

Catching his hand in hers when he'd risen to go back to his seat in the back, she'd whispered, "Thanks, Dave."

Staring down at her, he'd felt like he'd been punched in the gut by what he'd seen shining in her expressive blue eyes. She trusted him. Really trusted him. He'd squeezed her fingers and forced himself to smile. "Anytime, JJ."

_**/**/**_

Stirring from his recollection as he heard his name being called over the intercom, requesting his presence at the sixth floor nurse's station, he rose quickly and strode purposefully toward the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**FORUM NEWS: Several fun things going on NOW on the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum on !**

**1. The thread "Where, oh where, have the M Stories Gone? – This is a handy guide for readers to find where their favorite authors are posting their mature content stories these days. Authors, feel free to pop by and reply to the thread.**

**2. The thread "The Dog Days of Summer" mini-challenge. Come by and write a story for this fun summer challenge.**

**3. Come by and ask ME a question on this week's featured author of the week. Ilovetvalot is the featured author this week and I would love to talk to you. No question is off the table!**

* * *

**Learning To Love Again**

**Chapter Three**

Striding toward the nurse's station, Dave's long legs ate the distance quickly, each footstep quick and purposeful. Spotting Doctor Williams ahead of him, he moved faster, quickening his measured gait as he saw the man making notes against a chart.

"Hey, doc," Dave greeted the snowy haired man. "Are there any new developments regarding JJ's condition?" he asked briskly, itching to return to JJ"s side. Finding out as much as he could now, however, would save him time and questions in the long run, he reminded himself as he waited for the other man to address him.

Looking at the man facing him, the doctor dropped his clipboard to the desk and focused addressing the obvious concerns he had. "She appears a bit more lucid now. The nurse was assisting her to the restroom when I left so you might want to give it a moment before going back inside the room. If she continues to improve the night and morning, I could allow her to be dismissed as soon as tomorrow afternoon provided she has someone to stay with her over the course of the next several days."

"That's not going to be a problem," Dave assured the doctor quickly, his chest loosening slightly as he felt a weight start to rise. "What about the baby? Everything still okay in that department?" he asked anxiously.

"Everything regarding the pregnancy appears to be in order. Agent Jareau hasn't experienced any of the typical precursors to miscarriage. There has been no cramping or bleeding, which is an excellent sign. At the moment, I can't see any reason why her pregnancy shouldn't progress normally," the doctor answered calmly.

"Is there anything I…I mean, we can do to make sure everything stays on target?"

"All I can recommend is that any stressors be kept to a minimum. I realize that's a tall order considering the ordeal she's experienced. The death of her fiancé and the assault she's endured would make a difficult for an otherwise perfectly healthy woman to heal. When you add in the fact that she's nourishing and sustaining another life, it complicates matters," the doctor explained, sliding his pen into his pocket.

"What about medications to keep her calm? Can she take something like that?" Rossi inquired worriedly, hoping that something could be prescribed to at least take the edge off her pain. If there was thing that he was not ashamed to admit, it was that he hated to see Jennifer in any sort of pain whatsoever.

The doctor grimaced slightly at Dave's request. "I could prescribe a low level sedative, but I would only use it as a last resort. No doctor would approve of their expectant patient being on any medication they can avoid taking. She'll go home with a strictly preventative antibiotic for any of those cuts and abrasions that could become infected. I'll also give her a painkiller that she can take sparingly. Neither of those should create any problems in the pregnancy in the doses that I'll order them. Whoever stays with her should also make sure she continues taking her prenatal vitamins. Beyond that, medically speaking, there's not much left to be done beyond the obvious. Balanced, nutritious meals and plenty of rest, both of which I'm sure she'll try to resist. It's fairly common when people grieve that they neglect themselves. Agent Jareau cannot afford to do that."

"I'll make sure she follows orders," Dave agreed, willing to bully, bribe or beg in order to ensure that the young woman followed every guideline.

Smiling faintly at the determined tone in the other man's voice, Dr. Williams nodded. "You might try reminding her of what's best for the baby. It's a manipulative play, but usually effective."

"I have no problem playing the guilt card on her if it will work," Dave assured the other man. It was true, too. He'd do whatever needed to be done .

"She'll need to be seen for a follow-up examination in five to seven days with her regular physician." Reaching for his chart, the kind doctor raised an eyebrow as he took a step forward. "Do you have any other questions for me?" Dr. Williams asked.

Running quickly through the mental list he had, Dave slowly shook his head. "I think that's it for now," he said with a stiff nod. "Do you think it's clear to go back in the room by now?" he asked, gesturing behind the doctor.

Taking a look at the clock over the nurse's desk, Dr. Williams replied, "I think it should be safe by now. Go ahead. She was asking for you when I left. Try to make sure she doesn't try to overdo it and keep her visitors to a minimum," he advised.

"Thank you," Dave said gratefully, shaking the other man's hand before he began walking toward JJ's door. Tapping his knuckles against the wood before opening the door, Dave slipped back inside the room as the nurse was helping her patient back into bed.

He saw her stiffen, her frail body almost freezing in alarm, when the door opened and smiled when her face relaxed upon seeing him. "Hey there, babe," he greeted as he closed the door behind him and approached the side of the bed. "Are you feeling any better?"

JJ tried to offer him a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. "I'm okay, I think. Just kinda woozy," she admitted as she eased back into the bed, her movements sluggish.

"That's just a side effect of the medication, hon," the nurse assured both her patient and her visitor professionally. "You're going to feel more like yourself in a couple of hours."

"And here I was hoping I'd feel like somebody else. I think it'd be easier," JJ murmured, shifting her heavy legs in the bed as Dave neared.

"That's the medication, dear," the old woman said promptly, tucking the sheet tightly around JJ's small body. "Right now, you just lie back and rest as much as you can. Don't be hesitant to press that call button on the side of your bed if you need it either," she said, tapping the red button for emphasis with her nail. Patting JJ's covered arm, she shot Dave a kind smile before leaving the room.

Dave hadn't noticed how slender JJ had grown until he'd seen her crossing the room in the shapeless hospital gown she wore. While hospital wear had never been designed to be flattering, the pale blue material swallowed her tiny form. How the hell had any of them missed the fact that she was little more than a bone? That couldn't be good for the child she sheltered within her body. Women were supposed to gain weight when they were expecting a child, not lose it. It was glaringly obvious that the past tumultuous few weeks with Will had taken their toll on not only her mind, but her body as well. It was plain to him that he and the rest of their team would have to keep a much closer eye on her.

Relieved to see someone she trusted, JJ reached for Dave's hand, grateful when his warm, solid hand surrounded hers. "This feels like a nightmare, but I can't wake myself up from," she whispered in a shaky voice. "I want to open my eyes and find out it was just a bad dream, but that's not going to happen, is it?"

"I wish it was, JJ," Dave replied truthfully. He hated that bruised look, like life had beaten the hell out of her.

"I can't believe this is happening. That this is real," she said, shaking her head from side to side.

"I have a little kernel of information that might perk you up a little," Dave replied in the most cheerful voice he could muster. Hell, it sounded strained to his own ears. He could only imagine how it sounded to her. "Doctor Williams says that if you keep improving over the next several hours, we can break you out of here and take you home tomorrow."

JJ paled visibly at that new piece of information. "H-home?" she repeated, her pupils dilating with fear. "What? No!" she exhaled on a shaky breath. "No, I can't! I can't go back there!"

Surprised by her reaction, Dave slid his hand up and down her sheet covered arm. "Hey, now," he chided gently as a tear slipped down her cheek. "None of that. Calm down for me, sweetheart. I don't mean alone," he stated soothingly. "One of us is going to right beside you until those assholes that hurt you are caught. If you don't feel comfortable going back to your apartment, you can come and stay with me. Or maybe you'd rather stay with Emily if you would feel more comfortable with a woman. Either way, JJ, I can promise you that you'll have someone with you."

Tears rolled down JJ"s cheeks, leaving wet tracks in their wake. "I can't go back to that apartment, Dave," she choked. "Seeing his things and knowing that he'll never be back to…" she said, stopping abruptly and unable to continue for a moment. Swallowing hard, she fought for a thread of control. Finding it, she continued, "If I stayed with one of the girls, they'd want to talk me to death. As much as I love them both, I don't think I could handle that right now. So, if you really don't mind, I'd be grateful if I could take you up on your offer to stay at your house. I'll try not to overstay my welcome and get back on my feet in just a few days."

"It takes as long as it takes, and, of course you're welcome there," Dave murmured, relieved to see her tears ebbing. As far as he was concerned, he would have promised her the moon if it would have stopped the emotional rush she was experiencing. "There's no rush."

"Your place is so quiet and peaceful," she whispered, remembering the few times she'd been to his spacious home. "Maybe I'll be able to think more clearly there. I can b-begin to figure out what to do. There's so much to consider," she breathed, staggered by the weight of obligation. "Will's funeral….my finances…"

Listening to her ramble off her list of worries, Dave tightened his grip on her hand. "Okay," he said calmly. "I want you to slow down. There's no reason for you to rush and figure all of this out on your own. I've got plenty of room at my place and an excellent security system. When you're ready, I'll help you make the arrangements for Will's funeral service. As far as your financial concerns, we'll figure something out," Dave informed her gently. He'd corner Garcia later and have her work that voodoo magic on her computer to hack JJ's accounts. He was a wealthy man; he'd ensure that her finances didn't suffer. Between speaking engagements, book royalties and his position at the Bureau, he had more money than he knew what to do with. Money certainly wasn't something he wanted her worrying about now.

He knew her mind was reeling, trying to plan long term in the face of tragedy. Silently, he cursed Will for putting her in this position. If he'd kept his pants zipped, JJ would never have been out in the dead of night trying to salvage their relationship. She wouldn't look as though her entire world had been shattered.

His mind was made up, he thought severely. The only thing he wanted her to concentrate on was regaining her strength and taking care of the small life she carried in her womb. The rest, he could handle.

"Are you sure, Dave?" JJ asked, her eyes cloudy with more unshed tears.

"I'm positive," Dave replied certainly. "Right now, I want you to lie back and close those eyes. Hotch and Garcia will be here soon to see you if you're up to it. You don't want Penelope holding me responsible for these, do you?" he asked, stroking his thumb against her wet cheek and smearing the moisture into her cool skin. "Being the object of her wrath is not an enviable position from what I've been told," he said with a wink.

Offering a watery laugh, JJ sniffled. "No, it isn't," she agreed weakly. "Thank you, Dave."

"None of that," Dave admonished lightly, bending to press a kiss beside the bandage on her forehead. "Just sleep, JJ. Everything else can wait," he soothed, hooking the chair behind him with his foot and pulling it toward him. Slowly sinking back into his seat, he watched her eyes drift closed, and he resumed his silent vigil.

* * *

_Hello, friends! If you've been looking for our M-rated stories, we've found a new home for them! After fanfiction. net began to purge M-rated stories that were questionable according to their Terms of Service, we voluntarily removed our stories and are in the process of loading them on The Writer's Coffee Shop (thewriterscoffeeshop DOT com...make that a real address)._

_To find us, visit TWCS and then choose Library. Then click Authors, choose the I category, then ilovetvalot. Our stories will be listed for you to read!_

_If the story is rated M or NC-17 on that site, registration is required (so they can control the age of the viewers). It only takes about a minute to set up an account! Click Library, then choose Register from the left-side menu. Fill in the information requested (and you only have to give the information that is required with astericks!). You will receive a confirmation email and then be able to view all sorts of amazing stories!_

_We are continuing to post on , and we enjoy this site very much. However, in order to be in compliance with 's rules, we will be posting our M-rated stories at TWCS, and we will also post certain chapters of our epic stories at TWCS if the chapter strays into the M-rating. We will be updating our profile page very soon to provide you with links and to keep everyone updated on exactly where our stories are located!_

_**TODAY, WE UPDATED OUR ROSSI/GARCIA EPIC, "TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL", AT THE WRITERS COFFEE SHOP. STOP BY AND CHECK OUT CHAPTER 15, ALONG WITH SOME OTHER FUN STORIES ALREADY UPLOADED THERE! WE HAVE ALSO PUBLISHED A COMPLETELY NEW "M" STORY CALLED "AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW" AT THE WRITERS COFFEE SHOP! PLEASE CHECK IT OUT.**_

_We truly appreciate your continued support, and we look forward to providing you with many more stories in the future! Again, we apologize for any inconvenience this has caused any of you._


	4. Chapter 4

**FORUM NEWS: Several fun things going on NOW on the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum on !**

**1. The July Challenge, "The Crossover Challenge" is now up and available or sign ups at Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Please join us. The rules are simple. Choose one tv character from another show, past or present and get randomly assigned one of the CM crew to pair your chosen character with. Signups are thru July 1****st****.**

**2. The thread "Where, oh where, have the M Stories Gone? – This is a handy guide for readers to find where their favorite authors are posting their mature content stories these days. Authors, feel free to pop by and reply to the thread.**

**3. The thread "The Dog Days of Summer" mini-challenge. Come by and write a story for this fun summer challenge.**

**4. Come by and ask ME a question on this week's featured author of the week. Ilovetvalot is the featured author this week and I would love to talk to you. No question is off the table!**

* * *

**Learning To Love Again**

**Chapter Four**

It was funny how time slowed to a crawl within the confines of a hospital. Over the years, he'd spent a fair share of time within them. Sometimes he'd been the patient. Other times, he'd been the individual holding vigil, much as he was now. The one consistent theme was that he'd never wanted to be here.

It was something about the smell. That antiseptic scent that clung to his body like a disease, reminding him that somewhere within, there were people losing the fight for their lives.

It was vile.

It was also necessary.

Eying JJ's huddled body, he knew he wouldn't rather be anywhere else. She needed stability right now above anything else. She'd clung to his hand until she'd drifted off, almost like she was afraid he'd disappear if she let go. He'd murmured reassurances while he stroked her hair, but he knew those were just words to the young injured woman lying in the bed. The feel of his hand holding hers was something tangible though, something solid she could hold onto, anchoring her to reality.

He must have dozed at some point. He realized that he'd lost a half hour somewhere when he glanced at his watch. Glancing over his shoulder, he heard the door opening behind them. Lips twitching as he glimpsed a familiar face behind him, he raised a finger to his lips, motioning the woman in the vibrant pink sweater for silence. Lord, Penelope Garcia knew how to make a fashion statement. He'd be willing to bet she could be seen in outer space wearing that color.

Gently extracting his hand from JJ's, he watched the slumbering woman's face carefully for a moment to see if she'd wake. When her face remained undisturbed after a few heartbeats, he finally took a step back from the bed and motioned her newest visitors into the hallway.

He understood that Garcia had the best of intentions, but he also knew her proclivity for raising her voice when stressed. Right now, he had to make sure everyone had JJ's best interests at heart, and that meant having a quiet conversation outside first.

Closing the door to JJ's room partially, he smiled at Penelope. "Hey, Kitten," he whispered, nodding at Aaron Hotchner at the same time. "She's still sleeping."

"How is she, SuperAgent? How's my poor baby doing in there?" the worried technical analyst questioned quickly, keeping her voice pitched low in the hallway.

"She's been resting. The doctors gave her something to help her sleep, but she should be waking up soon," he informed them both. "Only one of us are allowed inside her room at a time. They don't want to overwhelm her with too much too fast," he explained to Garcia. "She needs to remain calm," Dave stressed, ensuring that he made eye contact with the distraught woman.

"Calm," Garcia repeated, nodding enthusiastically. "I can do calm." Seeing Hotch raise an eyebrow, she frowned. "Well, I can! Maybe not as well as our stoic leader, but I can manage it."

Smiling gently, Dave patted her shoulder. "I know you'll do whatever will help JJ the most. Go on in, Garcia. I need to speak to Aaron for a few minutes anyway, and we don't want her to wake up alone," he said, holding open the door for her.

"Yes, sir," Penelope agreed, quickly sliding into the room and taking the seat Dave had vacated.

Waiting a moment to ensure all was well, Dave pulled the door almost completely closed before turning to face Hotch.

Leaning against the opposite wall, the Unit Chief met the other man's eyes as he dropped Dave's leather go bag on the tiled floor. "I thought you might want a change of clothes so I grabbed your bag from the office. Is there any change in there?" Aaron asked seriously.

Yawning, Dave nodded as he blinked, trying to force his eyes to focus. "The doctor says that if she keeps improving, he'll release her this afternoon."

"So soon?" Hotch asked, surprised by that new knowledge.

"Doctor Williams seems to think she's ready. I'm going to take her home with me." Watching Aaron's eyes darken, he held up a hand. "It's what she wants, Hotch."

"Dave, I'm not sure that's a good…"

"It's what she wants," Dave declared flatly, glaring at Aaron, his earlier fatigue fading quickly. "You really want to go against her wishes right now?"

"Of course not," Hotch denied, shaking his head as he arched one brow.

Bending to pick up his bag, Dave sighed. "Me either. So, let's just all agree for the next few days that we let her call the shots. You got any new leads yet?" he asked, prepared to ignore all of Aaron's objections about JJ's living situation as he hitched the strap of the bag over his shoulder. He understood the man had concerns, but right now, the focus needed to be on finding JJ's attackers.

And he was more than capable of keeping her safe while everyone else worked on that particular task.

Aware that Dave was deflecting, Aaron let it pass. The other man had been up all night. Now wasn't the moment to question his motivations. "Unfortunately, no. We're still meeting dead end after dead end," Aaron replied, irritated with the state in which the investigation currently stood. "Strauss has applied some pressure to DC homicide this morning. We'll see if that gets us anywhere."

"Damn it," Dave cursed, his lips tightening as he bit back another colorful choice of words. "So, other than keeping her safe until we catch a break, we've stalled."

Clearing his throat, Aaron nodded. "That's not everything, either. I got a phone call before I left the office. Evidently, Will's mother, Vivian Harris, has arrived in Washington. One of the police officers on scene last night notified her without clearing it through us first."

"God damn it, Aaron," Dave growled, rubbing his hand through his hair. "What the hell kind of rookie ass operation is homicide running down there?"

Holding up his hand, Hotch shook his head. "Dave, what's done is done. There isn't any changing it now. I just wanted you to be prepared. I was hoping JJ would have more time to process things before Ms. Harris arrived, but that's not going to happen. Will's mother is understandably upset and I'm sure not thinking clearly. When I spoke with her earlier, she sounded…off to me. It could be the shock of Will's death, but I thought you needed the heads up. She was very….cold. Almost detached in a way."

"Great." Dave snorted sarcastically as he shoved a hand in his worn jeans pocket. "Just one more thing to look forward to this morning. Do me a favor. Keep an eye on things around here. I want to get cleaned up and grab a cup of coffee. It shouldn't take more than a half hour."

"Take your time and catch your breath, Dave," Aaron advised as he nodded. "For some reason, I think we're going to need all hands on deck pretty soon," he added ominously.

* * *

_Hello, friends! If you've been looking for our M-rated stories, we've found a new home for them! After fanfiction. net began to purge M-rated stories that were questionable according to their Terms of Service, we voluntarily removed our stories and are in the process of loading them on The Writer's Coffee Shop (thewriterscoffeeshop DOT com...make that a real address)._

_To find us, visit TWCS and then choose Library. Then click Authors, choose the I category, then ilovetvalot. Our stories will be listed for you to read!_

_If the story is rated M or NC-17 on that site, registration is required (so they can control the age of the viewers). It only takes about a minute to set up an account! Click Library, then choose Register from the left-side menu. Fill in the information requested (and you only have to give the information that is required with astericks!). You will receive a confirmation email and then be able to view all sorts of amazing stories!_

_We are continuing to post on , and we enjoy this site very much. However, in order to be in compliance with 's rules, we will be posting our M-rated stories at TWCS, and we will also post certain chapters of our epic stories at TWCS if the chapter strays into the M-rating. We will be updating our profile page very soon to provide you with links and to keep everyone updated on exactly where our stories are located!_

_**TODAY, WE UPDATED OUR ROSSI/GARCIA EPIC, "TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL", AT THE WRITERS COFFEE SHOP. STOP BY AND CHECK OUT CHAPTER 15, ALONG WITH SOME OTHER FUN STORIES ALREADY UPLOADED THERE! WE HAVE ALSO PUBLISHED A COMPLETELY NEW "M" STORY CALLED "AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW" AT THE WRITERS COFFEE SHOP! PLEASE CHECK IT OUT.**_

_We truly appreciate your continued support, and we look forward to providing you with many more stories in the future! Again, we apologize for any inconvenience this has caused any of you._


	5. Chapter 5

**FORUM NEWS: Several fun things going on NOW on the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum on !**

**1. The July Challenge, "The Crossover Challenge" is now up and available or sign ups at Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Please join us. The rules are simple. Choose one tv character from another show, past or present and get randomly assigned one of the CM crew to pair your chosen character with. Signups are thru July 1****st****.**

**2. Please swing by one of our newest threads and offer your suggestions and opinions for this year's third annual Criminal Minds Profiler's Choice Awards.**

**3. Check out another new thread "Cover Girls…the New Option for covers on . Read and share helpful tips for creating story covers.**

**4. The thread "Where, oh where, have the M Stories Gone? – This is a handy guide for readers to find where their favorite authors are posting their mature content stories these days. Authors, feel free to pop by and reply to the thread.**

**5. The thread "The Dog Days of Summer" mini-challenge. Come by and write a story for this fun summer challenge.**

* * *

**Learning to Love Again**

**Chapter Five**

It was amazing what a clean shirt and pair of jeans could do for a guy. Dave mused on that thought as he took a tentative sip from the paper cup he held in his hand. Feeling refreshed after a quick change of clothes in the men's bathroom and a sprint to the hospital cafeteria to grab a cup of something other than the sludge from the vending machine upstairs, he quickly climbed the steps back to JJ's floor. Stepping into the now familiar hospital corridor that housed JJ's room, he heard the first raised voice as he rounded the corner by the nurse's station, his senses going on alert. The closer he drew to JJ's room, the louder those voices became until he distinguished Aaron Hotchner's deep voice entering the fray. Rapidly picking up speed as he heard JJ's low cry, he quickly closed the distance separating him from her room.

Barreling inside her open door, he immediately noticed that Aaron and Penelope had both taken defensive positions beside the small woman cowering in the bed, each acting as a buffer between her and the irate older woman hurling obscenities and threats in JJ's direction.

"You treacherous bitch," the well dressed woman sneered, her hands balled at her side. "I told my boy that trash like you could bring him nothing but trouble. You were nothing…no social connections to speak of…just a pretty little face he couldn't resist. You trapped him! You don't think you fooled anyone with this convenient little pregnancy of yours, do you? I told him to have a paternity test before he followed you into this horrible city! But, no…you had him snowed, didn't you? He never should have been _here! _If not for you, he'd have been at home in New Orleans. He'd have been safe," she shrieked, her hand slapping against the tray table in front of JJ's bed as she glared at the woman that had cost her son his life.

"Mrs. Harris," JJ cried brokenly, shaking her head rapidly, her hair flying against the starched white pillowcase. "Please, let me try to explain," she begged, struggling against Penelope's hands as she tried to sit up in her bed.

"Explain?" Mrs. Harris retorted, laughing harshly. "Let _me _explain, you little bitch. You will _never _see a dime of Harris money," she vowed darkly. "Not one single cent! I'm going to have my boy's body released into my custody. You weren't his wife! You were the little slut he got pregnant. If you even think of trying to get in my way or getting anywhere near his funeral, I promise you you'll be sorry. You and that little bastard you're carrying are going to stay away from what's left of my family, you gold digging tramp!"

"I'm not," JJ cried brokenly, tears slipping down her pale bruised cheeks as Will's mother continued to attack her. She had to make her understand. While she was aware that Will's wealthy mother hadn't approved of their relationship, she had no idea the resentment had been this deep seated. "I know Will and I…"

"You shut your lying little mouth about my son. Don't you dare try to speak for him," Vivian ordered harshly. "You killed him, Ms. Jareau. You may not have pulled the trigger, but make no mistake, I hold _you_ entirely responsible for taking my son from me! And believe me when I say that I'll make sure you pay," she threatened tightly, her eyes glittering with hatred and pain.

"You don't understand, Mrs. Harris," JJ whimpered, shaking her head as her words broke on a sob.

"What in the _hell_ is going on in here?" Dave asked sharply from the doorway, his eyes like ice as they narrowed on the woman currently terrorizing JJ. Reaching for Vivian Harris' arm when she opened her mouth again, he forcibly pulled her into the hallway and pushed her against the wall.

"Dave!" Aaron called roughly, following the pair quickly into the hallway and closing the door behind him. "Let her go," he ordered sternly. It was rare that he'd ever seen the older man look this dangerous and for a moment, he wished he had Morgan for backup. By the look shining in Dave's eyes, he just might need it.

"Get your hands off me," Vivian demanded, shrugging off Dave's grip. "I don't know who it is you think you are, but this is a private matter," she shouted, stiffening when he narrowed his gaze and took a half step closer.

"I'm the asshole that's going to set you straight regarding a few little tidbits regarding that so-called saintly son of yours," Dave informed her with a cold smile.

"Rossi," Hotch warned warily, watching the exchange before him.

"Oh, no, Hotch," Dave said, keeping his voice deceptively soft, "but I think JJ's visitor should be made aware of some of the truths her son must have overlooked sharing with her."

"What are you talking about?" Vivian asked tersely, her chin lifting in defiance.

"Your son had a few faults, Mrs. Harris."

"Yes, I agree. He had truly horrid taste in women," she replied with a sneer.

Chuckling ominously, Dave tilted his head. "I think you've been misinformed. You see, it's not Jennifer's morality that should be in question here. Unless, of course, you think cheating sons of bitches should be loved and adored." Watching her gasp, he continued sharply, "A little less than a month ago, JJ learned that your saintly son was sleeping around. She walked in on him fucking another woman."

"That's impossible," Vivian denied, offended at the mere thought. "The boy I raised would never lower himself in that way."

"Evidently, you didn't know him as well as you think you did. And you must not have been keeping in touch either or you'd know that Jennifer had already called off her engagement. Now, would a gold digging tramp do that? As a man that's known more than my fair share, I can tell you the answer is no. They wouldn't."

"I don't trust you," Vivian retorted, trying to push past him and back into JJ's room.

Slapping a hand against the wall beside her head, Dave leaned forward and whispered against her ear, "I don't give a shit. Jennifer does not want a dime of your precious money. In fact, she does not want or need _anything_ from you. Anything she _does_ need, rest assured, we will provide. The bottom line here is that _your_ little golden boy dragged the woman inside that room behind me out into the dead of night because he was trying to convince _her_ to take his sorry ass back, lady! Now, I'm real fucking sorry that your kid couldn't keep his dick in his pants….but that's in no way on the woman in that room! Place the blame where it's due here."

"No," Vivian denied vehemently. "You're lying," she bit out, her eyes flashing with anger.

"It's your prerogative to believe whatever the hell you want," Dave returned evenly. "Make no mistake though, Mrs. Harris," he said with steely determination, "if you go anywhere near Jennifer Jareau again or harass her in any way, there _will_ be hell to pay. I'm sure the attorney here standing next to me would be happy to explain how harassment is a crime punishable by hard time," he threatened, waving a hand at Aaron.

Smirking, Vivian rolled her eyes. "Oh, I can assure you, I am finished with Jennifer Jareau and that bastard she's breeding. I'm going to collect my son's personal effects and escort his body home to Louisiana for burial. You just make sure that bitch stays the hell out of my way."

"We'll have an agent waiting to escort and accompany you into Agent Jareau's home," Aaron informed her grimly.

"Your little agent's paltry belongings are safe from me," Vivian declared. "She took the only thing left I cared about," Vivian replied hatefully before she whirled on her heel away and strode away.

Staring after the departing woman, Dave clenched his jaw. "That woman," he said quietly, "doesn't get near JJ again, Aaron."

"Agreed," Aaron replied tersely before turning to follow JJ back inside the room.

* * *

_Hello, friends! If you've been looking for our M-rated stories, we've found a new home for them! After fanfiction. net began to purge M-rated stories that were questionable according to their Terms of Service, we voluntarily removed our stories and are in the process of loading them on The Writer's Coffee Shop (thewriterscoffeeshop DOT com...make that a real address)._

_To find us, visit TWCS and then choose Library. Then click Authors, choose the I category, then ilovetvalot. Our stories will be listed for you to read!_

_If the story is rated M or NC-17 on that site, registration is required (so they can control the age of the viewers). It only takes about a minute to set up an account! Click Library, then choose Register from the left-side menu. Fill in the information requested (and you only have to give the information that is required with astericks!). You will receive a confirmation email and then be able to view all sorts of amazing stories!_

_We are continuing to post on , and we enjoy this site very much. However, in order to be in compliance with 's rules, we will be posting our M-rated stories at TWCS, and we will also post certain chapters of our epic stories at TWCS if the chapter strays into the M-rating. We will be updating our profile page very soon to provide you with links and to keep everyone updated on exactly where our stories are located!_

_**WE UPDATED OUR ROSSI/GARCIA EPIC, "TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL", AT THE WRITERS COFFEE SHOP. STOP BY AND CHECK OUT CHAPTER 15, ALONG WITH SOME OTHER FUN STORIES ALREADY UPLOADED THERE! WE HAVE ALSO PUBLISHED A COMPLETELY NEW "M" STORY CALLED "AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW" AT THE WRITERS COFFEE SHOP! PLEASE CHECK IT OUT.**_

_We truly appreciate your continued support, and we look forward to providing you with many more stories in the future! Again, we apologize for any inconvenience this has caused any of you._


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum news: I'll try to keep it brief.**_

_August signups are open through July 31, 2012 for the **"It's a Heat Wave Challenge!"** Details can be found at the forum._

_New thread called, **"What We're Reading Right Now!"** is up and available for comment. We're asking readers and authors to tell us the first five books listed on their Kindle or e-reader (or, even their bookshelf)._

_Please check out an additional new thread called **"Cover Girls…the New Option for covers on fanfiction. net"**. Read and share helpful tips for creating story covers on the site._

_A continued thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read, review, favorite and alert our stories here on this site. We truly enjoy hearing from each one of you. Also, please check out our "M" stories at __**The Writers Coffee Shop (TWCS)**__ and a Brand New site run by fellow CM authors, Kavi Leighanna, Sienna27 and The Truth Between called __**Fractured-reality. Com**__. If anyone needs a link or direction to the new site, please feel free to contact us through either a private message or while leaving a review and we'll make sure to get back to you. Each former "M" story is getting an overhaul as we publish it AND there are new stories being added all the time there as well. Currently we are adding __**"FREEDOM OF A NEW EXPERIENCE"**__. Again, we'll be happy to answer any questions you have. As always, we own nothing other than our plots and original characters._

* * *

**Learning to Love Again**

**Chapter Six**

Striding back into the room a second later, Penelope Garcia met the two men with terrified rounded eyes.

"Oh, thank God," she panted breathlessly as she grabbed Dave's arm, her fingernails tearing at his skin as she tightened her grip. "I didn't know what to do! I called the nurses."

"Garcia, calm down and tell us what's wrong," Aaron said authoritatively, glancing behind the worried tech at JJ's still body in the bed.

"I couldn't calm her down. I tried, but nothing I said…she wasn't hearing me," Garcia babbled quickly. "She just kept saying it was all her fault. That Will's mother was right. The nurse brought it a sedative, and now, she isn't saying anything at _all_. She's just laying there crying these big silent tears," the woman said brokenly, her own breath hitching on a sob. "I'm so sorry, but I just didn't know what else to do."

Patting Garcia's cold hand, Dave nodded as he looked over her shoulder at JJ. She was too still, her chest barely moving at all as those god awful tears leaked down her face. "It isn't your fault, Penelope," Dave said softly.

"My precious little flower can't stay like this though," Pen whispered urgently. "What can we do?"

"Garcia, everything that can be done has been," Hotch returned, his voice pitched low. "JJ is grieving. There is no medication that can take away that pain. We're just going to have to give her time and support her in any way she'll let us."

Dave's jaw flexed as he took another look at JJ. Her beaten body and wounded spirit were just the tip of the iceberg. Anger ate like acid inside him, the need to search out her attackers and punish them almost a tangible need. But he was also professional enough to realize that to help with that, he needed to maintain his objectivity. Right now, the most immediate goal he needed to meet was assisting JJ in recovering her composure. There would be time later to find the assholes that had put her in that bed and deal with Vivian Harris' more recent assault on JJ.

"Listen, why don't you two go back to the office? There's nothing more that can be done here, and maybe there's a new lead to follow. It already looks like the sedative is calming her," Dave noted, recognizing the slightly dazed look shining in JJ's eyes. "Her tears have slowed considerably. Maybe when she comes out of this haze, she'll be able to answer a few questions. For now, I'll stay here with her," he said, carefully concealing his own turbulent emotions roiling beneath the surface. If either of his two friends suspected how much this had affected him, they'd both be concerned. Right now, their entire focus needed to be on Jennifer and helping her past this. Taking valuable time to reassure Aaron that he could keep his personal and professional feelings separate would only delay them from ensuring JJ's ultimate safety.

"Oh, I don't know, SuperAgent. Even the Energizer Bunny needs a battery change every now and then," Penelope worried, biting her lower lip as she tilted her head. "You've been here all night. Maybe I should stay."

"No," Dave denied flatly, wincing at Penelope's stricken face. Softening his voice, he cajoled, "Kitten, as much as I know you could help JJ, right now, either Aaron or myself needs to be here in the event that Will's mother decides to pay another visit. I think you agree that my special brand of asshole might be an asset with that woman. And since Hotch has the police contacts and you wield that computer of yours as efficiently as any gun, I'm the best alternative right now. I promise, I'll take good care of her, Garcia."

"I guess you have a point," Garcia admitted reluctantly. "She seems to rest easier when you're in the room with her, too. You can't exhaust yourself, though," she said with a frown.

"If the choice is between Rossi and me, JJ's in the best possible hands, Penelope," Aaron assured the younger woman gently. "He's better with raw emotion and none of us want to say or do the wrong thing."

"Are you trying to say your people skills are a little rusty, Boss Man?" Penelope teased with a smile.

"Dusty, not rusty," Hotch correctly, straight-faced. "Dave is old enough to know what he can handle. If he needs a break, he'll call," he said, exchanging a pointed look with the other man.

"Okay," Penelope muttered hesitantly before crossing the room to JJ's bedside. Smoothing back her friend's limp blonde hair, she whispered, "Okay, buttercup, if you can hear me, you listen up. Everything is going to be okay. The Italian Don over there is going to stand sentry for now, but you just say the word and I can be back here like a flash. You hear that? A flash, my little love. Rest for now," she crooned, leaning over to drop a kiss to JJ's forehead. Biting her lip at the unresponsive woman in front of her, Penelope's shoulders sagged as she turned from the bed.

Replacing Garcia a second later, Hotch looked down at his media liaison. Completely still, she appeared to be in some sort of daze. "I'll be back later, Jayje. You just hang in there for now," he murmured, squeezing the hand resting on top of the covers.

Nodding to Dave as he placed a hand on Garcia's stiff shoulder, Aaron guided the woman out of the room, closing the door softly behind them.

Moving back to the bed, Dave plucked a couple of tissues from the box on the nightstand. Carefully patting her wet, bruised cheeks with slow strokes, he murmured, "Well, it looks like it's down to you and me again, Jen." Watching as her eyelids fluttered and she leaned her cheek against his fingers, his heart broke as fresh tears escaped her closed eyes. "Now, listen to me," he said sternly. "I know that the intelligent, rational woman inside you knows that nothing that woman said earlier is true. She's a grieving mother that needs someone to blame. Today, unfortunately, she chose you as her target. Tomorrow, it will be some other innocent son of a bitch. But either way, _you_ can't let her have that much power over you. Come on, sweetheart," he cajoled. "Open those eyes and talk to me. You can even have permission to tell me to fuck off if you want, but you've got to say something and let me know you're okay."

Slowly opening her eyes, JJ sniffled as she stared into Dave's concerned face. "She meant every word, Dave," JJ confided softly, the words escaping in a broken whisper that seemed to take all of her energy reserves to produce. "And she's right. This _is_ all my fault."

"That's bullshit," Dave stated flatly, his dark eyes flashing.

"No," JJ denied. "I mean, Vivian never liked me. She thought Will was dating beneath his standards. But, now…Oh, God, Dave. In less than a day, I've gotten her only son killed and taken the only living relative this baby has and turned her against us. She doesn't even believe this is Will's child," JJ whispered hoarsely, curling one hand around her abdomen.

"First of all, you aren't responsible for Will's death. You didn't kill him. In fact, you were injured yourself. You _could_ have been killed, too. Second, who give a shit what that woman thinks? I'm sorry she lost her son. I wouldn't wish that tragedy on anyone, but I'll be damned if I'll sit here and listen to her convince you that you're responsible. If she doesn't want to be a part of her grandchild's life, that's her choice and her loss. You don't need that kind of poisonous influence in your life and neither does your child. Honestly, JJ, would you really want someone filled with that kind of venomous hatred anywhere near you or the baby? It's not good for you and it would sure as _hell_ be a crime to expose an innocent infant to it, babe."

His low words broke through the haze surrounding her. Releasing a shaky breath as his fingers stroked her cheek, she swallowed. "I know you're right."

"Of course I'm right," Dave replied easily. "I'm always right." Smiling as a ghost of a genuine smile appeared against her lips, he squeezed her hand. "How many memos have I sent you to that effect?"

"I don't know," JJ whispered, a faint smile weakly playing on her lips. "I'd have to check, but I'll make a note of it."

It was a game they'd played for months. Dave's assumption that he was _always_ right about everything was legendary at the Bureau and few deigned to even attempt to relieve him of his condescending stance. Well, excep for her. Her standard reply of "I'll make a note of it" was a thinly concealed code for, "Yeah, right. And I'm the Queen of England."

"You know, you should have enough of those notes about me to construct a lengthy novel by now," Dave teased, hooking his foot into the chair behind him and pulling it toward him. Sitting down, he kept her hand in his. "You really ought to get on that. It could be a bestseller."

"Rossi's Pearls of Wisdom," JJ said, yawning as she settled back against the pillows.

"Okay, so your title needs work," he teased as he winked. "We'll work on that," he promised as she blinked slowly.

"Sleepy," she complained, struggling to keep her eyes open as his image swam in front of her. The harder she tried to focus on him, however, the more blurred his features became.

"Shhhh," Dave soothed, pressing his hand against hers. "Just go with it, JJ. Let those drugs do the job they were designed to do. You're safe, and I'm not going anywhere."

"You'll be here," JJ whispered as her eyes drifted shut, her system finally fully overwhelmed by the medications they'd injected earlier.

Sitting quietly beside her as he carefully watched her slack face, Dave finally allowed himself to take his first real breath since they'd thrown Vivian Harris out of JJ's room. Shaking his head at the pure hatred he'd seen seething in that woman's gaze, his mind wandered back over the earlier exchange, replaying it in his mind.

Half an hour of introspection only created more questions in his mind. Something wasn't right with that woman and it went well beyond being grief-stricken and shocked. He could place it, vaguely familiar though, it hovered on the periphery of his overtaxed mind, just beyond his grasp. On impulse, he reached for the cell phone in his pocket, one quick glance at JJ confirming that she slept deeply. Dialing Aaron's extension, Dave pressed the phone against his ear.

"Hotchner," Aaron answered on the first ring, his voice tinged with exhaustion.

"Hotch, it's Dave," Rossi said, greeting the younger man. "I want you to do me a favor," he requested, keeping his voice low.

"Name it," Hotch replied calmly.

"I want you to pull an extensive background check on Vivian Harris. I've got a feeling about her, Aaron. Something wasn't right. Even as a grieving mother, she was off. Will's death should have pushed her to want a connection…to grasp on to what he'd left behind. She went the other way."

"You're talking about the baby," Hotch stated heavily.

"Yeah," Dave agreed. "I am. The animosity she felt for JJ extended to the child. That's not typical."

"I'll put Garcia on it," Hotch said with a nod. "If there's anything to it, she'll find it the quickest."

"Just keep me posted, Aaron. Thanks," Dave said gratefully before ending the call. Leaning back in his chair, he kept his eyes on JJ. If his gut was any indication, he wasn't going to like whatever Garcia managed to find, but they needed answers too badly to ignore this twinge in his belly. He'd made himself a promise that he'd get those answers and damn anyone that got in his way.

**/**

Several miles away, Aaron Hotchner rose from behind his orderly desk and quickly made his way toward Penelope Garcia's inner sanctum, too well accustomed to Dave's hunches actually yielding something valuable. Knocking briefly on her door, he waited until her sunny voice answered before opening the door and stepping inside the brightly lit office. Relaxing slightly as Penelope lifted her head and smiled at him, he closed the door.

"And what may the goddess do for you, my liege?" she asked in her perky trademark voice.

"Dave just called me," Aaron began, watching as her expression sobered. "JJ's fine," he informed her before she could begin firing questions in rapid succession. "He called for a favor from us and you're the best one for this job."

"Anything!" Penelope nodded eagerly. "What does he need?"

"Information, Garcia. As much as you can find, as quickly as you can find it," Hotch replied succinctly, perching a hip against the corner of her desk. "On Will's mother, Vivian Harris. Dave thinks something feels wrong there."

"Shocker," Garcia snorted. "You don't need to be a profiler to figure out pretty quickly that bitch is off her nut. And not my special kinda crazy, either. Nah, this was the "in your face" Norman Bates psycho kinda loon. But have no fear, my captain. If there is bad juju to be found, I'll find it. And then Agent Tall, Dark and Deadly can use it to bludgeon her," she informed him with a grim nod, her fingers already flying at breakneck speed over her keypad.

Nodding in satisfaction, Aaron straightened. The woman was already entirely focused on her monitors, her attention completely focused on the task ahead of her. Garcia took mission-oriented to a whole new level when one of her friends was involved. "I'll check back with you later," he said before quietly leaving her to her new quest.


	7. Chapter 7

**Learning To Love**

**Chapter Seven**

He spent most of the following hours in relative silence, the steady beep of JJ's heart monitor and the muffled sounds from the hospital corridor keeping him company. He remained watchful, searching JJ's face for any signs of discomfort and blessedly finding very few. Every once in a while, she'd grimace or whimper, straining against invisible hands, and he'd lean forward in his chair to smooth his hand over hers, mutely reassuring her of his presence. Occasionally a nurse would drift into the room, taking JJ's vital signs with an efficient hand and making a note against the chart against the end of the bed. One or two of them had offered to stay with her while he sought out a cup of coffee or stretched his legs, but he'd quietly deferred each invitation, choosing instead to remain where he was.

She opened her eyes every now and then, especially when she'd feel cool hands touching her. Every time, her eyes would seek him out and only then would her tense shoulders relax and subside back into the bed. He knew she was barely tolerating the hands invading her personal space, her clamped jaw and wide eyes indicated her level of anxiety. Frowning as the door opened behind him again, he sighed as JJ flinched in the bed.

Leaning forward, he met her hand when she reached for him. "Easy, sweetheart," he soothed as the nurse behind him approached the bed.

"Just need to take those vitals and check your abrasions, Agent Jareau," the brunette scrubs clad woman said softly. "I'll be quick."

Gripping Dave's hand as the woman drew back the thin sheet covering her, JJ shivered. She held her breath as the nurse moved aside her gown and examined the bruises covering her torso.

"Jesus," Dave exclaimed, hissing in a breath as JJ winced under the nurse's probing fingers. "Just breathe, Bella" he whispered, tightening his hand around hers as she whimpered in pain, dropping the endearment unconsciously. Waiting impatiently while the woman continued her quick examination, Dave stroked JJ's blonde hair until she settled. Nodding tersely at the brunette as she recovered JJ, he waited until she'd let herself out of the room to ask, "Are you okay?"

Swallowing, JJ bit her lip. "Yeah," she finally choked. "It's just….every time I feel a stranger's pair of hands on me, I want to scream. When I think of all the victims that we've touched over the years, I wonder how one of them didn't haul off and punch us."

"It's instinctive, that urge you're feeling to protect yourself," Dave replied gently. "And if you want to scream, you scream. Nobody will think any less of you."

Sniffling, JJ nodded, gratefully lifting her heard when he reached for the cup of water beside her bed. Sipping the cool fluid through the straw he held for her, she murmured, "Thanks."

"More?" he asked, still holding the plastic pink cup.

Shaking her head, JJ tiredly closed her eyes. "No."

Resuming his seat, he watched her drift off again. Time crept forward slowly as he held vigil beside her. Around three, he looked over his shoulder to find three familiar faces hovering in the open doorway of her room. Rising, he hurried toward them, shooing them into the hallway as he pulled the door almost closed behind him. "Hey," he greeted them, facing their worried faces in the brightly lit hallway.

"How is she, Rossi?" Derek Morgan asked bluntly, his chocolate eyes heavy with worry.

While Morgan had developed…hell, he'd cultivated, the reputation for being the brawn of their closely knit team, Rossi knew that most of that attitude was pure bravado. When it came to his fellow teammates, Derek Morgan was anything but an iron man. That said, he'd hate to be the guy that had attacked JJ if Derek ever got his hands on him. While he'd take incredible delight in introducing a bullet to the son of a bitch, Derek would gain more pleasure from ripping the fucker apart - one limb at a time. "She's actually improved quite a bit through the day. The sedative they've given her has allowed her to get some much needed rest. Each time she wakes up, she's a little calmer…a bit more aware of her surroundings. Her recovery is just going to take time."

"JJ's not exactly patient when it comes to her own body," Spencer Reid stated nervously. "She'll push herself too fast if she isn't careful."

"We'll just have to work harder to make sure that she doesn't do that," Dave replied calmly, aware that Reid and JJ shared a special bond. He'd never quite understood it and had never felt like it was his business to question it. If they wanted to include him, they would when they were ready. In the meantime, he was careful not to offend the anxious younger man. "The good news is that the doctor will most likely release her tomorrow if there aren't any negative changes in her condition."

"Rossi," Emily began, running a distracted hand through her disheveled hair. She did that a lot when she was stressed. That, and chewed her nails. And since those were bitten to the quick after the day they'd all had, nervously fumbling with her hair it was. "There's no way she can stay by herself….not in their apartment. She's more than welcome to move in with me for the foreseeable future," she offered generously.

"Actually," Dave began hesitantly, "she's decided that she'd rather stay out at the farm. I know she'd appreciate the offer though, Em." It was obvious the trio standing in front of him were surprised to say the least. "Hey, I'm not an ogre. JJ thinks that the fresh air and quiet might do her some good. Although," he said with a look out the sunlit window, "I'm not sure how much time she'll be able to spend outside. The weather report earlier said something about temperatures dropping. It seems to me she'll be spending more time inside than she might have anticipated," he mused aloud, blinking against the streaming sunshine.

"It won't matter to her," Reid replied softly. "She told me how much she likes your house. It reminds her of her parent's home in Pennsylvania. Something about the warmness in the walls. According to her, it's inviting. Growing up in Vegas, I never quite understood what she was talking about," he noted with a shrug. "Regardless, however, if a piece of property affords her those kinds of feelings, I think she should go. She needs a place where she feels secure enough to pick up the threads of her life again."

"I get it." Morgan nodded. "She wants to find some control…some stability. A place that reminds her of a home where she was happy…it makes sense."

"I'm glad you all approve. I may need to enlist a couple of you to help me convince Hotch of the wisdom in this plan. As far as I'm concerned, we'll do whatever we need to do to give JJ what she needs in order to help her heal," Rossi returned grimly. Turning his head toward Emily, he asked, "Do you think you could do me a favor this evening?"

"Of course," Emily replied instantly.

"Could you go by JJ's apartment and gather some of her things? I wouldn't have the first clue what to pack." He cringed, the idea of rifling through Jen's belonging in the place she'd shared with Will somehow repugnant. He hoped she wouldn't be offended by invading her privacy, but he didn't want to put her through the ordeal of visiting her home before she was stronger.

"Any idea how long of a stay we're looking at?" Emily inquired, quickly pulling out a notepad from her purse and scribbling herself a reminder.

"I'd pack at least enough to last her a few weeks. At this point, I'm just not sure when she'll feel able to return to her place even if it's only to pack another bag. When I mentioned it earlier, she panicked," he confided to his colleagues. "If you could just drop the bags off on the screened in back porch, it'd be a big help. I'm fairly isolated and my neighbor looks in on the place while I'm gone. Nobody should disturb anything. And if you could grab me a change of clothes while you're there and drop them off here in the morning, I'd really appreciate it."

"The key is still hidden underneath the potted fichus?" Emily asked. She and JJ had grabbed Dave's mail and watered his plants during more than one book tour.

Nodding, Dave grinned. "Who knew a grizzled profiler could be so predictable, huh?"

"Old habits die hard," Emily remarked, quickly making another note against the page.

"I appreciate this, Em," Dave said gratefully, thankful that Emily was a woman of few questioned that didn't pry as a general rule.

"No problem at all," Emily replied dismissively.

"Well, listen Rossi," Derek said with an uneasy look toward JJ's room, "Tell JJ we're all thinking about her, okay? Right now…I'm not sure I could see her and not punch a wall or something, you know?"

"It doesn't help that you have an aversion to hospitals," Reid commented knowingly.

"Cram it, genius boy," Derek muttered. "You'll tell JJ we stopped by to check on her?"

"Of course," Dave agreed, privately commiserating with the younger man. He shared Morgan's singular dislike of the medical establishment. Hospitals had a way of making a guy feel completely powerless….especially when somebody they cared about hung on the line.

"Would it be okay if we maybe came by your place after work? You think she'd be up to a few visitors?" the dark man asked, scratching his chin.

"I think that would be fine," Dave agreed, smiling when he saw the relief in both Derek and Reid's eyes. "Thank you for coming by. I'll make sure I tell JJ you were here."

"I'll be back with those clothes later," Emily said softly, touching Dave's arm before following the other two men down the hallway toward the elevator.

Watching, Dave smiled faintly as the eclectic trio wandered away. It was odd. Each was distinctly unique, bringing a singular talent to the team they formed, but they all fit together. Each of them was like pieces of an elaborate puzzle. He'd noted it the first day he'd worked with the team. They were a fluid bunch; where one might lack, another contributed, blending their characteristics seamlessly. It was a rare thing to witness...finding that perfect complement of individuals to create something special. In the last twenty-four hours, he'd never been more grateful to be a member of that group.

Turning back toward the door, he slipped back inside the room and made his way back to the woman that was going to need each of their individual skills if she was going to recover. Especially his.

Shrugging off his coat, he nodded to himself. That was one challenge he was more than ready to help her face.

* * *

_**Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum news: I'll try to keep it brief.**_

_August signups are open through July 31, 2012 for the "It's a Heat Wave Challenge!" Details can be found at the forum. __**TODAY IS THE LAST DAY!**_

_There is a new discussion thread available called, "_WHY ARE OUR READERS NOT REVIEWING? We asked, and our readers answered!" _Please check it out and leave a comment._

_We also have another discussion thread entitled __**"**_**The Ups and Downs of Writing an Uncommon Pairing**_**"**__. Please let us know what you think! _

_A continued thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read, review, favorite and alert our stories here on this site. We truly enjoy hearing from each one of you. Also, please check out our "M" stories at __**The Writers Coffee Shop (TWCS)**__ and a Brand New site run by fellow CM authors, Kavi Leighanna, Sienna27 and The Truth Between called __**Fractured-reality. Com**__. If anyone needs a link or direction to the new site, please feel free to contact us through either a private message or while leaving a review and we'll make sure to get back to you. Each former "M" story is getting an overhaul as we publish it AND there are new stories being added all the time there as well._


	8. Chapter 8

_**SPECIAL NOTE: SEPTEMBER signups are now open through AUGUST, 31, 2012 for the "THE MIX n MATCH CHALLENGE!" Details can be found at the forum. **_

_**Also, new chapters to "Touched by an Angel" and "You Found Me" have been posted at The Writers Coffee Shop (TWCS) for those following those stories. Links to that site can be found on my profile.**_

_**AND NOW THE BIG NEWS- THE AWARDS SEASON HAS COMMENCED! Nominations have opened for the third annual Profiler's Choice Awards for Criminal Minds' fandom! Please visit Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for the nomination ballot, rules and guidelines and category definitions. Please review ALL information BEFORE submitting your nomination ballot. Ilovetvalot, Tonnie2001969, and HXChick are NOT eligible for ANY awards.**_

* * *

**Learning ****To ****Love**** Again**

**Chapter Eight**

Rossi spent a long, uncomfortable night trying to fit his larger than average frame in a chair designed for a dwarf. At the exorbitant rates that hospitals charged patients, you'd think they would spring for a normal size recliner, he thought glumly. Shifting again as he tried to find a position that didn't threaten to snap his spine, Dave's legs sprawled in front of him. He'd spent the last several hours with only the occasional nurse and his thoughts for company.

Not exactly an unusual routine for him, barring the nurses, of course.

He was accustomed to a solitary existence. As he'd grown older, he'd developed a tendency to keep to himself, sharing parts of himself with only a very select few. That propensity for privacy had served him well over the last several years. The fewer people who knew his secrets, the better his chances were for remaining relatively unscathed by emotional scars. His ex-wives had taught him a few valuable lessons, but chief among those had been that relationships made a man vulnerable.

This tiny woman lying beneath the covers in front of him, however…she was the exception to his carefully crafted rule. Over the last several months, he'd allowed her a glimpse at the man he was and she'd rewarded him be offering him a rare glimpse of her that few people got to see. He could honestly say that she _knew_ him.

The only other member of his team that he could say that about was Aaron. He and the younger man shared a professional history together. They'd saved each other's asses from roasting over the bureaucratic fire countless times, accompanying each other into battle again and again. Over the years, they'd developed a lasting friendship, but even it was based in the job.

With, JJ, though…it felt personal. No fool, he recognized that his feelings for the younger woman were more intense than mere friendship, but he was a master at ignoring things that didn't fit into the plan. And up until recently, she was definitely not the plan. Engaged to another child and expecting the guy's child had put a kibosh on anything he might have felt….or at least his chances of sharing it. He didn't have many hard and fast rules left that he followed, but he did _not_ wreck families.

The problem was that she'd made it so damned _easy_ to fall for her. With most people, he struggled to listen to them…to hear the words coming out of their mouths. He'd had to re-teach himself communication skills when he'd returned to the Bureau, his lone wolf act of old clearly unpopular with the group as a whole. But hell, as a senior team member, he'd been forced to learn.

JJ had helped tremendously with that.

With her gentle smile and easygoing manner, she'd paved the way for him to create better relationships with his fellow teammates. It was her influence that helped him see that mentoring Morgan and Emily was a good way to strengthen their bond. Each of them possessed innate skills that brought a unique quality to the team, but his hard won practical experiences offered each agent a new perspective, helping them to each become even more effective.

Damn it, it was because of her that he'd allowed himself to be convinced that Reid needed a stable, steady figure in his life in which to confide his feelings. And Garcia? Oh, JJ had taken the cake on maneuvering that relationship. When Kevin had proposed to Garcia last month, it had been_ JJ_ that had suggested to a disheartened Penelope that David Rossi would be more than honored to accompany her down the aisle in place of her deceased father. JJ had worked so quickly on that particular mission, he'd barely realized what had happened when Garcia had smacked her lips against his cheek and thanked him profusely.

Staring at the sleeping woman in front of him, Dave sighed. Yeah, JJ had definitely become exceedingly adept at managing him and his life. She did it with a gentle guiding hand, but it was her doing nevertheless. He would have balked if he'd caught any other woman attempting that feat. But with her, it felt oddly natural.

Yawning as he glanced at his watch, he noted the early hour. Six AM. With timing worthy of military precision, the door opened behind him and a bouncy nurse entered the room, flipping a switch and bathing the room in bright fluorescent light.

"Good morning!" she greeted exuberantly, crossing the room as JJ stirred in bed. "How is everyone doing here today?"

Dave had to bite his tongue to keep from biting out a scathing retort to her question, but JJ's wince in the bed redirected his attention.

"Oh, God," JJ gasped, pressing her palm to her bandaged head and shielding her eyes. "My head hurts!"

"It's the light, Ms. Jareau. Good morning to you. I'm Nancy, your day nurse for today. I'm sorry to disturb your rest, but we need to get those vital signs and change those bandages for you before morning rounds begin for the day," she explained easily, helping JJ sit up with a hand under her arm. "They should be bringing in your breakfast tray shortly," she added, wrapping the navy blue blood pressure cup around JJ's arm.

"I'm not hungry," JJ said hoarsely, squinting as the nurse poked a thermometer under her tongue effectively muting any argument.

"Eating isn't optional for either you or the munchkin, JJ," Dave said, standing beside the bed and gripping the iron rails as the nurse plucked the thermometer from JJ's lips and unwrapped her arm from the cuff.

Hearing that gruff, serious timbre in the older man's voice JJ sighed. She'd heard it many times before, and it was annoying how often he was right. "Fine," she muttered. "I'll try," she whispered, turning her head to stare at him in the early morning sunlight.

Wincing as her eyes fell on his face, her shoulders sagged as she noted how worn he looked. Dark circles bruised his eyes and his face seemed to have developed new wrinkles during the night. Guiltily, she knew she should have insisted he go home and rest, but the selfish, terrified part of her psyche had been equally adamant that he stay where he was. She'd never have felt safe enough to close her eyes otherwise.

Uncertain what it was about him that implied safety, she only knew that when he was near her, she could breathe and relax. Perhaps it was age and experience. Maybe it was the fact that she knew that behind that rough demeanor, there was a tender man capable of protecting her and her child. Regardless of the reason, she recognized that with him close, she could hold onto the frail thread of sanity she had left.

Gripping his hand as her nurse began to peel back the bandages on her face, she thought about her relationship with David Rossi.

For the past several months, they'd built a mutually rewarding friendship together. His presence in her life had allowed her a respite from the turbulent emotions that had seemed to consume her over the last few weeks. When he was around, his quiet voice had the ability to still all those jumbled thoughts confusing her overtaxed mind. She could think without confusion after a quiet talk with him.

He certainly wasn't a man who minced words. He said what he thought and believed in what he said. Her father would have called him "old school", she remembered with a faint smile. She instinctively knew that her parents would have liked him. They'd appreciated honesty and loyalty, and Rossi exemplified both of those qualities.

Dave was one of those men that you intuitively knew to listen to, for, when he spoke, a wise person listened intently. She knew from experience that the older man was far more often right than he was wrong. That was one of the pervading reasons she trusted him, heavily relying on his soft spoken advice more and more often as her life had began to spiral out of control these last weeks.

Truthfully, she wasn't sure how she'd have coped otherwise without him.

Flinching as the woman tugged off another bandage at her hairline, JJ whimpered as her hair caught. Swallowing, she gripped his hand more tightly as she continued to think. Maybe if she thought hard enough, the woman currently making her miserable would disappear.

She loved Emily and Penelope dearly. They were like sisters, each of them good friends just like the rest of their team. But it was this man, for some strange reason, that she felt like she could lower her guards and be as weak as she needed to be. There was no pressing desire to convince him she was happy or impress him with her skills and knowledge. Around him, she felt safe being completely herself. It sounded trite, this being free to be me philosophy, but as corny as it was, it was still true.

Penelope maintained that JJ gravitated toward Rossi because he reminded her of her father. She silently disagreed. While Dave and her father did share certain key qualities, chief among them their ability to shoulder huge burdens on their strong shoulders for those they cared about and their uniform dislike for people who would judge others, she knew that alone wasn't what drew her to him.

No, those things were familiar and comforting. That much was true, but it was Dave's way of making her feel that what she felt…what she wanted…mattered to him that really sucked her into his vortex. With him, she felt like she was important because that was how he _treated her._

Releasing her breath as the woman with cold hands replaced her last bandage, JJ grimaced as her door opened again and an orderly wheeled in a table loaded with trays.

"Ah, breakfast has arrived," the nurse said cheerfully as Dave relieved the orderly of the maroon dish he pulled off the table.

"Great," JJ muttered unhappily as the aroma of eggs and bacon assaulted her senses.

"Have a nice day, ma'am," the orderly said with a small wave as he pulled his cart out of her room.

"Thanks," JJ said with her own halfhearted wave in his direction.

"All right, Ms. Jareau," the nurse exclaimed as she adjusted the covers over JJ's legs again and gestured for the food Dave had dropped on the tray table. "You need to eat as much of that as you can and try to regain some of your strength."

"I will," JJ agreed woodenly as she watched the other woman retreat toward the door.

"Your doctor will be in shortly," the woman said brightly with a smile before closing the door behind her.

Waiting until the door closed behind her, JJ glared. "Being that cheerful this early ought to be a crime punishable by death," she ground out as Dave lifted the lid off the food.

"I can't say I disagree with you on that," Dave admitted. "But you heard the lady, you gotta eat to regain your strength."

Repulsed, JJ stared down at the platter in front of her. "That looks disgusting."

"I'll agree that it lacks something in the visual appeal department, but it's edible."

"I'm not hungry, Dave," JJ replied, shaking her head as she began to push the plate away.

"JJ, don't be unreasonable," Dave said with a sigh. "Look," he ordered, forking a bit of the eggs into his mouth and swallowing. "Edible. Tasteless, but edible." Turning he grabbed the newspaper the orderly had left with her tray and sat back down in his chair.

Looking from the plate to him, JJ complained, "You're just going to sit there and watch me, aren't you?"

"Pretty much," Dave agreed, unconcerned as he flicked open the newspaper and fished his reading glasses from his pocket.

"Why don't you get out of here and get some breakfast for yourself? Maybe take a walk. We both know that you could probably use a break from me by now," she cajoled nervously. "You wouldn't want to get sick of me before we ever make it back to your house."

"Nice try," Dave said calmly, regarding her over the edge of his paper. "But I'm not buying."

A frown marred her pretty albeit bruised face as she stared at him. "What?" she said, feigning innocence.

Lowering the newspaper to stare at her with unwavering intelligent eyes, he smirked. "I think you might be mistaking me for someone else here, JJ. Do I like new to you? Do you think I don't realize that if I step one toe outside this room, that food," he said, nodding toward her tray, "will be in the garbage can before the door smacks me in the ass?" Watching a guilty flush climb over her cheeks, he chuckled, "Face it, I know your tricks. Deflection won't work on me. I'll grab some coffee when the doc comes in to examine you, not before."

"I'm not hungry," she tried again resolutely.

"I don't care. Eat anyway," Dave replied evenly, his eyes boring into hers as the fought a silent battle he was determined to win.

"Fine," she finally conceded curtly. "But just know that I'm eating because I want to, not because you demanded it, Hitler" she grumbled, forking a bite of eggs into her mouth.

"Danka," Dave said with a nod, perfecting a perfect German accent. "I never doubted you'd make the right decision," he commented blandly as he picked up the paper again.

Steadily spooning small bites between her lips, JJ consumed the tasteless food. This was exactly what she meant. Yet again, despite her protests, he was putting her needs ahead of his own. It was a strange sensation to be that important to someone. Will had certainly not made that much effort during their short time together. Perhaps she was being disloyal to his memory, but it was the truth. Will LaMontagne, while a good enough man, simply didn't have the character Dave did. He'd been selfish, wanting what he wanted, when he wanted it. A product of his mother's upbringing, she assumed.

Think of Vivian Harris made JJ's gut tighten. Swallowing quickly, she took several deep breaths in order to control her sudden nausea. She still had no idea what she should do about that situation. She'd thought about calling and trying to explain her side of things, but she knew the other woman wasn't interested in hearing from her. Vivian held her responsible.

JJ regretted that she'd never have a chance to say goodbye to her child's father. She'd always be grateful to him for the gift he'd given her. No, she hadn't loved him, not as she should have. He hadn't loved her either, however. Not in the way she needed to be loved. He had been a good person though – one she'd cared deeply for and she would mourn that.

Inhaling deeply, she forced herself to withdraw from those maudlin thoughts. She had more important things to focus on at the moment. Primarily, her baby's health and happiness; that was her top priority. And getting the hell out of this hospital room.

Pushing away her half-eaten breakfast, JJ glanced at Dave. "Do you really think they'll let you take me home today?"

Setting aside his newspaper, Rossi's dark eyes meandered over her breakfast try. Assessing it silently, he nodded his approval. "Keep making an effort to eat and I'll see what I can do," he offered, picking up a piece of the leftover bacon and popping it in his mouth. "I honestly don't think we'll have a problem though."

"Thank God," JJ murmured gratefully as the door to her room opened again.

* * *

_**Dear Readers,**_

_**Tomorrow, I (ilovetvalot) will be having surgery on my cervical spine. This will delay all further postings until Monday. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Please direct all questions regarding the Profiler's Choice Awards and nominations to Tonnie2001969 and allow us 72 hours to respond to any questions. We would like to encourage you to nominate your favorite CM stories in this year's awards. We'd like to have a nice well-rounded voting ballot to offer you and that only happens if we nominate our faves.**_

_**Thanks again for your understanding!**_

_**ilovetvalot**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Dear Friends: We are pleased to provide updates to five of our ongoing stories today. We hope you enjoy our multiple trips into the various worlds of Criminal Minds that we've created, and we look forward to hearing from you about the chapters!**_

_**And when you finish these new updates, head on over and friend Sarah O'Rourke's Facebook page at facebook sarah. Orourke. 507 (simply remove the spaces). When we reach 100 likes, we're having a special drawing to give away a free copy of one of our books (in the form of a $5 Amazon gift card!) While you're there, check out the books that we have to offer. From erotica and romance to a trip through the supernatural, we have something for everyone! You can see all of Sarah's books at her author's page at amazon author / sarahorourke (simply remove the spaces).**_

_**Thanks for reading, and we hope you enjoy the new chapters and Sarah's books!**_

* * *

**Learning to Love Again**

**Chapter Nine**

"Good Morning, Agent Jareau." JJ's physician, Dr. Williams, greeted his patient as he entered the room followed closely by JJ's day nurse, Nancy. "How are we feeling today? Did either one of you get any rest."

Straightening as he heard the door open, Dave squeezed JJ's hand reassuringly. "We've muddled through, Doc. I'll just go grab a cup of coffee while you take a look at the patient here," he offered easily, bending to brush back JJ's hair and drop a chaste kiss against her bruised temple, whispering in her ear, "I'll only be one good shout away, JJ. I'll be back soon."

Nodding against his lips, JJ swallowed hard as her lifeline withdrew. Fighting past the initial panic that she felt as Dave closed the door behind him, she turned her eyes toward the man and woman standing at the foot of her bed studying her chart. Clearing her throat, JJ hoisted herself up the mattress to sit up straighter. "Dave…I mean, Agent Rossi mentioned that you said that I might be able to go home today," JJ began anxiously. "Is that still a possibility that's on the table?"

Looking up as JJ spoke, the doctor paused in the act of looking over her chart. "Well, that depends quite a bit on you, Agent Jareau."

"JJ, please," JJ corrected him huskily. "I'm not feeling much like a capable FBI agent at the moment," she confided ruefully.

"I'm sure that will pass in time. You absorbed some blows that would have brought a full grown man to his knees," the doctor consoled her gently. "Tell me, how do you feel today, JJ? Anything unusual?"

Shaking her head slowly, JJ said quietly, "I'm really sore and my head still throbs quite a bit. But there haven't been any pains that I can't explain to myself. Honestly, whether I stay in the hospital or go home, I think the pain is going to remain the same. I'd feel much more comfortable experiencing all this at home."

"I see," Dr Williams replied with a nod. "Given the circumstances, I can understand your position. No one likes being confined to the hospital. I don't see any reason that I can't release you today provided that you understand that for the next few weeks you're going to need some help. I don't want you to be alone right now."

"That won't be a problem," JJ agreed quickly. "Agent Rossi has invited me to convalesce at his home."

"Good, I assumed as much," the doctor said approvingly. "I'm going to send you home with a few prescriptions," he continued, scribbling against her chart as he talked.

"Drugs?" JJ questioned, dropping a hand to the low rise beneath her gown. "I…I don't want to take anything that will be harmful to my baby," she said warily.

"I completely understand," Dr. Williams returned calmly. "I'm going to prescribe a mild painkiller that will be just a step above Tylenol to use. I'll also give you a scrip for a sedative to help with anxiety. You can take it as needed. And finally, we'll send you home on a broad spectrum antibiotic to help prevent any unexpected infections from cropping up. Each medication, when used correctly and responsibly, will have very little, if any at all, effect on your fetus."

Still nervous, JJ shifted on the bed. "I want this baby, doctor. If you had any doubts…"

"I would share them with you immediately," Dr. Williams assured her quickly.

"O-okay," JJ agreed, still uncertain. Perhaps her fears were irrational, but the idea of losing her baby was too much for her to contemplate. She had to be positive that she was acting in the child's best interests. He or she only had her to depend on now.

"I already distributed most of this information to Agent Rossi yesterday," Dr. Williams informed her gravely. "You will need to make an appointment with your regular physician in five to seven days to have those stitches on your forehead removed. I also think it would be wise for you to have an appointment with your obstetrician within that time frame as well."

"But my baby is fine, right?" JJ asked, her eyes widening in alarm on the man towering over her bed. "I mean, you checked, didn't you?"

Dr. Williams offered JJ an encouraging smile. "We checked," he answered as he nodded supportively. "As I informed Agent Rossi, provided you take things slowly and don't push your body to recover quickly, I don't anticipate any problems evolving from this incident. There's no reason why this should not progress as normally as any pregnancy does. That said," he said, pausing for a moment, "if, once you are dismissed from the hospital, you should experience any cramping, bleeding, or some other symptom you can't explain, I urge you to return immediately."

"I will," JJ replied, nodding emphatically. There was no way she'd toy with anything that could hurt her child. "I swear, I will."

Furrowing his brows as he scanned JJ's chart, Dr. Williams finally found the information he searched for. "According to the notes here, you're 16 weeks along. The ultrasound the ER performed upon arrival verified that window of time."

"Is that important?" JJ asked, tilting her head.

"Well, you're past your first trimester. That's typically the danger zone for miscarriage. It's just another point in your child's favor. You might mention to your OB that you'd like to go ahead and schedule another ultrasound to put any lingering fears you have to rest. You are far enough along that they should cooperate with a minimum of fuss."

"I will," JJ said, relieved to hear that her unborn child had a few positive factors going in their favor.

"JJ," the doctor said, lowering his voice, "on a more personal note, I want to convey how very sorry I am for your tragic loss. I know this can't be easy for you, especially now. Luckily, you seem to be surrounded by some very good people. Allow them to help you through the turbulent days ahead. I urge you to talk to them about what happened in the days ahead."

"I…I'll try," JJ faltered. The idea of discussing anything about the last forty-eight hours with _anyone_ enough to send chill bumps down her spine.

"Do you have any other questions right now?" the kindly doctor asked.

Relieved that the doctor seemed to be almost finished with his examination, JJ tried not to cringe as his fingers probed at her abdomen. "Only how much longer I have to stay here," she replied, biting her lip as the physician's cold hand tentatively touched the bluish bruise underneath her breast.

Exchanging a look with the day nurse, Dr. Williams smiled. "Why don't you go ahead and get our patient's discharge paperwork started, Nancy? We'll try to have you on your way within the next couple of hours, JJ. That will give you an opportunity to shower and dress. Then I'd encourage you to rest for a bit."

"Yes, sir," JJ agreed, thankful that the doctor wasn't going to milk her insurance coverage for all it was worth.

"Well, if there isn't anything further, I'm going to excuse myself. I hope you have a speedy recovery. And again, my condolences on your loss, JJ," the doctor murmured.

"Thank you," JJ said appreciatively, watching as both the nurse and doctor quickly left her room.

JJ found herself completely alone for the first time since she was admitted and fear clogged her throat. Looking around the room, she strained to hear the sounds outside her door. Closing her eyes for a moment, she reminded herself that she was in a hospital full of people. Rossi was somewhere close. She could handle a few minutes of privacy. Taking a deep breath, she hoisted herself into a sitting position, her injured muscles protesting the sudden movement.

"Get a grip, JJ," she whispered to herself, annoyed. She wasn't some simpering woman that needed to have her hand held twenty-four hours a day, was she? No. She was a qualified, trained agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Carefully sliding her bare feet to the cold floor, she shivered as her toes connected with the icy tiles. Standing, she gripped the rails of her bed as a wave of dizziness gripped her. "God, I'm weak," she said aloud, grimacing as she measured the distance to the attached bathroom with her eyes. "Okay," she said, giving herself a pep talk, "One step at a time," she murmured, taking small, careful steps toward her destination.

Ten minutes later, JJ pulled open the door of the restroom and began the journey back to her bed. Slightly out of breath, she weaved on her feet. Spinning on her heel as she heard the door open behind her, she stifled a scream as Rossi reappeared.

"What in the _hell_ are you doing out of bed?" he questioned gruffly, lunging forward to grab her arm and steady her as she swayed precariously. Wrapping an arm around her still narrow waist, he frowned as she whimpered. Easing his grip on her instantly, he growled, "Didn't they tell you to call somebody for help before you tried getting out of bed?"

"I needed to use the bathroom, Dave," JJ replied tiredly, leaning heavily against him as she tried to catch her breath.

"Then you call for a nurse. Or, you wait for me and I'll help you in there. JJ, you've barely got your land legs back, and that medication is still flowing through your bloodstream. What if you'd fallen?" he griped. "What would you have done then?"

"I don't know," JJ retorted. "But if you think I'm going to ask permission to go to the bathroom, you've lost your mind. I've been going potty by myself since I was four years old," she continued defensively as he eased her slowly back across the room toward the bed. "I'd really appreciate it if you'd can your bit as a drill sergeant."

"No dice," Dave denied. "You're just going to have to get used to the drill sergeant act until you're a little stronger," he informed her, easing her back onto the bed gently.

"I guess it won't be any different from any other day with you!"

"Oh, good," Dave teased. "The smartass has made her return. I know you're on the road to recovery now." He winked, pulling the sheet back over her slim body.

"Dr. Williams said he was going to dismiss me today. It should take a couple of hours." JJ sighed as she leaned back against the pillows. "Do you think Emily would bring me my go bag from the office? I need some clean clothes."

"That's already been taken care of," Dave soothed, turning to pick up the bag he'd dropped when he'd seen JJ struggling to make it back to bed when he'd walked into the room. "She dropped a change of clothes off at the nurse's station early this morning. Promise me that you'll stay in that bed and I'll go see if I can't find a nurse to help you get dressed," he bargained.

"I promise," JJ agreed quickly, ready to get back in her own clothes. "I'll stay right here," she said as she patted the mattress. Yawning, she blinked up at him. "I don't think I could move again right now if I tried."

"Then don't try," Dave advised. "I'll be back in a few minutes," he promised as her eyes drifted closed. Watching her still face a few more moments to ensure she really was resting, he finally turned and went in search of that nurse.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hello, friends! Quick announcement – For anyone interested, the June challenge (The Wedding Bells Challenge) is posted and available for signups at Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. We hope to see you there!**_

_**As always, thanks for reading!**_

* * *

**Learning To Love Again **

**Chapter Ten**

Dave returned ten minutes later with a nurse in tow. Opening the door to JJ's room, he smiled faintly when he found her sleeping again. "JJ?" he called softly, touching her still hand lightly. "I found that nurse," he informed her when she slowly blinked. "Nancy is going to help you get dressed," he explained, gesturing to the woman behind him.

"Okay," JJ agreed sleepily, absently nodding to the smiling nurse.

"I'm just going to make a few phone calls and let the team know what's going on. You'll be okay for a few more minutes, right?" he asked. "This will just take a minute."

"I'll be fine," JJ whispered, trying to force a smile on her face, the haze of her frazzled sleep still lingering.

Squeezing JJ's fingers one more time, Dave turned and excused himself from the room, his hand already searching his pocket for his phone.

Closing the door behind him, he thumbed through his contact list impatiently. Finally locating Penelope Garcia's number, he stabbed the phone impatiently with a blunt fingertip and waited for her to pick up.

"Queen of the Techie World," the analyst greeted exuberantly, "Speak and state your deepest darkest digital desire, dearest."

Shaking his head at her quirkiness, Dave asked, "Garcia? It's Dave. You got anything worthwhile to share with me yet?"

On the other end of the line, Penelope straightened in her desk chair, grimacing as she realized she'd just answered her call with the flip carefree attitude of a woman with no worries. "Agent Rossi. I didn't realize that was you. Sorry about that."

"It's fine, Garcia," Dave replied with a sigh, rubbing his temple as he spoke. "Vivian Harris? Do you have anything yet?"

"The short answer is no. So far, it appears all her activities are on the level, but I'm still digging into her personal life and her finances. How is my little Buttercup faring this morning?"

"Better," Dave answered, glancing back over his shoulder at the doorway. "They're actually going to release her into my care in the next couple of hours," he explained, watching as another nurse entered JJ's room with a handful of papers. "In fact, I think one of the whitecoats just went inside her room with dismissal forms. Keep me in the loop, Garcia and I'll call you back later."

"Absolutely, sir," Garcia agreed instantly. "Just take care of our little peach!"

"Will do," Dave replied, flipping his phone closed again as he hurried toward JJ's door.

_**$$0000$$**_

Meeting JJ's nervous blue eyes as he shut the door behind him, Dave crossed the room to her side. Dressed now in an oversized FBI sweatshirt and a faded grey sweatpants, her eyes were wide as he approached her, sidestepping a couple of departing nurses. "You okay? It looks like they're getting ready to spring you in here."

"Yeah, I think so. I just signed my discharge papers,," JJ whispered, her voice shaking as she blinked back tears. "I just can't seem to wrap my mind around everything that's happened in the last day. Forty-eight hours ago, my biggest problem was figuring out how Will and I were going to split custody of an infant. And now…it doesn't matter," she said faintly, her forlorn eyes dropping to the floor. "He's dead. How can that be, Dave?" she asked, her voice breaking. "How can my life have changed so radically, that fast?"

"JJ, nobody can expect for you to wrap your mind around all of this right away. It's gonna take time. Don't be so hard on yourself," Dave soothed calmly, patting her chilled hand as he reached her side. "Today, let's just concentrate on the immediate future. That means getting you home and getting you comfortable."

"But there's so much to get done," JJ denied, shaking her head as thoughts collided in her mind. "I need to…"

"Jen," Dave interrupted firmly, "the only thing I want you to think about is getting your strength back. You let me and Hotch and the rest of the team worry about handling everything else for a while," he continued calmly, tightening his fingers around hers.

He understood JJ's mindset. At heart, she was a fixer. She solved problems, not the opposite. Right now, she'd been thrown off her game by fate. It was natural she'd want to exert some control over her life, but the simple fact of the matter was that she simply didn't have the strength or energy to tackle a task so large right now. And if he didn't do something fast, he knew she'd try.

Saved by the opening door, Dave and JJ both turned toward the sound as a nurse clattered into the room, rolling a wheelchair inside with a smile. "All right, Agent Jareau. Your chariot awaits," she announced brightly.

Frowning at the wheelchair the other woman pushed in front of her bed, JJ frowned as she stood. "I don't need that. I can walk out of here just fine, but thank you."

"Ma'am, it's hospital policy," the chipper woman explained easily, well accustomed to hearing this particular patient argument.

"I don't need it," JJ denied, gripping the mattress as a wave of dizziness threatened. Wasn't it bad enough that she'd been rolled in here? By God, she wanted to walk out under her own steam. What was so complicated about that desire? She felt Dave watching her and her cheeks flushed.

"Jen, just sit down before you fall down," Dave ordered, concerned. She was already weaving on her feet and she'd only been on them a few seconds.

"I don't want to sit down," JJ said, resisting when Dave tried to ease her toward the rolling chair. "I'm…"

"JJ, stop," Dave admonished, growing more worried when the slight color she had faded from her cheeks, "If for no other reason, sit down so that we can both get the hell out of this joint."

Glancing at Dave's determined face, she felt his grip on her tighten. "Fine," she conceded tiredly. It wasn't worth the fight. Considering the events of the last two days, riding down to his car in a wheelchair was probably the _least_ humiliating thing she'd experienced. It simply wasn't worth the fight, she thought as she eased down on the padded seat.

While he hated to see JJ look so defeated, he was relieved to have her off her feet. He was even more grateful to be getting her the hell out of here. Nodding toward the nurse, he murmured. "Let's go."

_**$$000$$**_

The trip to the parking garage was accomplished swiftly. For once, fate seemed to smile on them. After offering the nurse a friendly goodbye, Dave eased JJ carefully into his Suburban and reached over her lap to fasten the seatbelt securely around her waist. Mindful of her bruises, he held his breath when she flinched. "Too tight?" he asked worriedly.

"No." JJ shook her head. "I think I just pulled one of my stomach muscles when I got inside the car. I'll be fine."

Quickly unzipping his go bag, he pulled out his travel pillow and gently inserted it between the seatbelt and JJ's tummy, refastening the seatbelts clasp. "Better?" he asked, watching her face for any sign of further discomfort.

"Much," JJ breathed gratefully, relaxing against the bucket seat. "Thank you."

Patting her leg in response, Dave withdrew, closing the door to the passenger side before jogging around the vehicle to the driver's seat. Pulling his keys from his pocket, he crawled behind the wheel and looked at JJ, her eyes now squeezed shut. "JJ? You ready, babe?"

Swallowing hard at his simple question, JJ cringed. Was she ready? Nope, her mind screamed. She hadn't been ready to watch Will die in front of her. She wasn't ready to raise a child alone. She wasn't ready to live in fear until the animals that assaulted her were captured. She wasn't ready for so very many things that she had no control over.

"Jen?" Dave's voice queried, growing more concerned.

"I'm okay," she whispered without opening her eyes. If she opened them now and found that dark, compassionate Rossi gaze leveled on her, she'd burst into tears. And God, hadn't this man…this decent man…watched her sob enough in the last day and a half? "I'm as ready as I'll ever be," she said quietly.

He wanted to say more…to comfort her in some small way, but he knew by the pinched look blanketing her face, it would be useless. Just empty words that would maintain very little to her right now. He managed to make it a full half hour in silence, stealing sidelong looks in her direction every few minutes. While she'd opened her eyes again, her gaze remained distant, fixed on some point he couldn't see. He knew her thoughts were drifting and in all likelihood moving through her mind at lightning speed. She remained quiet. Contained. And the further he drove, the more he realized that she was holding herself together by sheer force of will alone, her tiny hands clenched into white knuckled fists in her lap.

Finally unable to sit beside her quietly while she was obviously immersed in inner turmoil, Dave reached for her hand in her lap, covering her fist with his palm. "You know it's going to be okay, don't you? It's hard right now, but you're going to survive this, JJ."

Laughing hollowly, JJ's eyes stung with unshed tears. "How, Dave? How exactly do you figure that?" she asked woodenly. "I'm facing an unplanned pregnancy alone. The father of this child is dead. I know you never thought Will was a prize, but I think he wanted the baby."

"I think Will was a young man that made some bad choices," Dave clarified gently. "But, he didn't deserve what happened to him. No one deserves that," he added softly.

Wiping her nose, JJ struggled to keep from bursting into emotional tears. "We'll never know _what_ he could have been now. In just a few months, though, I'm going to become a mother whether I'm ready for the responsibility or not. And I'm going to be _all_ this baby has to depend on. How the hell am I going to be able to continue doing the job I have and be a mother at the same time? How am I going to support this baby? I wasn't Will's wife. I'm not entitled to anything. Not his life insurance. Not his pension. Nothing. I'm failing this child before it even arrives!" Shaking her head violently as the enormous weight of responsibility settled over her slim shoulders like an iron mantle, she felt her breath hitch in her throat. "I'm not ready for this," she babbled, tears rolling, unbidden, down her face now. "I'm really not! I don't think I can do this alone! I don't wanna do this alone!" she sobbed.

Watching as the small scrap of a woman broke down beside him, Dave quickly eased their vehicle off the road, flicking on the SUV's hazard lights as a warning to any oncoming traffic. Reaching for the sobbing woman with one arm, he pulled her against him, pressing her face into the crook of his shoulder. "You listen to me," he began calmly, smoothing his hand over her hair, "I mean it, JJ. Listen well. First of all, you are _anything _but alone. You are surrounded by people that love you, and each one of us is going to do every single thing we can to make the next few months easier for you."

Feeling her sniffle against his neck, he closed his eyes as she tunneled closer, her hands gripping his shirt in a death grip. "You're going to be an amazing mother," he assured her softly. "I don't think any person faces parenthood without having a few doubts about their ability. It's natural. Babies don't come with instruction manuals. You'll learn how to do it like everyone else does, trial and error and learning it on the fly. But, you are one of the strongest, most capable females that I've ever laid eyes on. You can do this. And during those times when you aren't sure about that, you lean on the rest of us."

"I can't do it alone," she whispered against his neck.

"Babe, do you think that we're all gonna run for the hills as soon as this baby makes landfall?" he asked dryly, tightening his arms around her. "Every one of us is going to be a part of this kid's life, and we're in it for the long haul. You aren't going to face anything on your own unless you want it that way. Understand?"

Feeling her relax slightly against him, her head bumped his chin as she nodded.

"What if I have to quit, Dave? What if I can't do this job and be a mom? I have to support us," she worried aloud, her voice hoarse from tears.

"You're borrowing trouble before it's time," Dave admonished, his heart aching for the normally self-reliant younger woman. "We both know that Aaron will make concessions if it's needed. He'll tailor the job in whatever way you need if it means keeping you with the team. And as far as worrying about your finances, I want you to stop. That's money, Jen. I've got plenty of it and I'm happy to share any that you need."

Shaking her head in denial, JJ pulled away from him slightly, ashamed of her outburst even though she still clutched at his shirt, hesitant to release what was quickly beginning to feel like her lifeline. "No. I can't take your money. I'm not your responsibility, Dave."

"I never said that you were my responsibility, but you _are _my friend," Dave replied, stressing the last words he spoke. "Money problems are something I can fix relatively easily. Right now, more than anything else, JJ, you are woman that needs to be protected. You need to feel safe again. You're also one of the few women that can tolerate being in my company more than half an hour without being overwhelmed by the desire to throw herself under a bus. You and the rest of this team are my family, and there's not much I won't do for my family. You gave me a place to belong when I needed it. So, as far as I'm concerned, I'm just returning the favor, okay Let me handle things for awhile, all right?" he asked quietly, his gaze colliding with hers in the quiet vehicle.

Forcing her fingers to disengage from his his shirt took more effort that she was prepared to admit, but she finally managed the task. _Needing_ someone wasn't something that she'd ever been comfortable copping to, but needing _this_ man…letting _him_ be there for her, wasn't quite as difficult as she had expected it to be. In a strange way, it felt natural, almost like second nature. Subsiding slowly back into her seat, she nodded again. "All right, Dave. If you're sure," she averred.

"I'm positive," he stated firmly, turning off the four way flashers and angling their car back onto the highway just outside the city limits. "And since we have all that settled for the time being, maybe you'd like to start thinking about what you'd like for lunch."

JJ's response spoke volumes. She rolled her eyes.

Shrugging easily, Dave smiled. "What can I say? I'm Italian. All problems can be solved with the right kind of food."

And for the first time in two days, JJ offered a genuine laugh.


End file.
